Two Steps Forward
by DsignG4
Summary: PLOT: Marcus is revived in the year 2575 and realizes a way to return to his own time, and old life. But is it the one he wants now? IM. R&R Please! CH.13-15 NOW up! Sorry it took so long for and update.
1. The End of the New Beginning

Earth Time: 20 Mar 2575

* * *

"Shouldn't you be dead?" came the deep, serene, but playfully gruff voice of Drall as his golden specter formed in front of Marcus's path stopping him in his swift tracks in the dizzying tunnels under the surface of Epsilon III.

"The same could be said for you, you know." Marcus teased hitching his hands up on his hips. "How old are you now, anyway?" He smiled jokingly.

"That's very impolite to ask! Let's just say I'm 'Middle-aged' for a caretaker of the Great Machine and leave it at that!" The holgraphic Minbari blustered playfully. "I rather thought you were another of Delenn's army of babysitters, actually."

He shook his head. "Sorry. Not this time."

"Just as well. After my years here it feels like the Ranger's are poking at the doorbell to see how I am every other minute!" He laughed so loud Marcus nearly flinched. His huge wide smile was very disarming.

Marcus laughed. "If it helps any they consider it one of the highest honors, it's a duty only given to the best and brightest."

"Then I should probably treat them better. Still... It's been a very long time since I've seen a familiar face. A very long time. Though I fear yours will be the last I am likely to see." Draal smiled.

"Indeed, but I am happy to see any familiar face right now as well, let me tell you. If you only knew what I've been through…" he exhaled tiredly for effect.

Now Drall frowned. "I have a pretty good idea, of course," The Minbari raised an eyebrow and crossed his hands. "Marcus, as much as I would like to, you know I cannot help you do what you want."

"Twenty minutes of your time, that's all I ask."

* * *

Marcus had made his case. Draal was now off considering his pleas while he did his work in the machine. He'd been waiting three days for an answer, which by Drall's standards was probably a blink. To Marcus it was torture. God only knew how long the man took to make a decision; days were but moments to him. Marcus was likely to become a very old man before Draal even remembered to think about it. 

His generous host had seen to it that a small room was prepared with a dusty threadbare cot and some food. Marcus was thankful he'd brought some food with him as well. The cot had come from centuries before when they had been forced to house some refugees on the surface at the tail end of the war with the shadows.

On the upside, Draal had given him hesitant permission to stroll around the Great Machine seeing his clear interest in some of the surroundings, but he was careful enough to temper it with a polite but firm order of "Don't touch anything!"

Marcus at the time thought nothing of it, but then he turned a hidden corner into a small room covered in intricate control panels and screens playing all sorts of footage from a hundred worlds too many to concentrate on just one. It took all his willpower to force his hands in his pockets.

He heard a shuffling outside the door. He'd become rather familiar with their owner's constant skittish shadowing of him the past few days. Zathras was never seen, but his footsteps were omnipresent. Marcus was more amused than offended.

"I'm not touching anything. I swear Zathras. While you're there though... what's this room for?"

More shuffling, then finally a squinty furry man poked his head the door. He looked back out over his shoulder cautiously then whispered waving his hand to imply this was secret, "Dees is Zathras' watching place. Come. You must leave now. Nothing to see here."

Marcus turned back to the screens, watching a sunset wish over the surface of a spectacular green planet he'd never seen before. "Watching place? And what do you watch exactly?"

Zathras stepped into the tiny room slowly setting himself between Marcus and the console he flipped a switch and all the screens went black. "Zathras watches things from Great Machine. That is all Zathras will say. No more to see."

Marcus could feel the little hairs on his neck stand up as a whisper of a thought hit him. What was it Drall had said? "As much as I would like to, you know I cannot help you do what you want." Yes, that was it.

Marcus quickly ran the sentence over his highly trained Minbari to English filter in his mind. Drall said he couldn't help him. He however didn't say that it couldn't be done -- or by who.

He laid on his most charming smile at Zathras. He suddenly felt sorry for the attendant of the Great Machine.


	2. Reentering a long lost life

He held back on the throttle and merely coasted through the misty formation that was the time rift. His heart was beating so fast he thought he could hear it in his ears. He took a slow breath to clear his mind, he still had a very long way to go he couldn't afford to keel over again before he got there.

The rift Zathras had managed to locate was near the rim off almost three weeks of hyperspace travel away. Once the device Zathras had given him indicated he was in normal space, he started jump engines and vaulted his small craft into hyperspace once more for the several days it would take to get into familiar stars again.

Zathras had been hard to persuade, but Marcus was relentless to say the least. He wasn't proud of it, but it was necessary. He was now exactly when he had to be. Or as close as they could manage. Three years after his recorded demise. February 2264. It would have to do. 'Close enough for horseshoes,' as his dad would say.

He squeezed his eyes shut and for the first time in a long time made a little wish. That his return would not cause anyone anymore pain; that he could pick up some semblance of the life he'd had. He didn't have the heart to wish that somehow Susan would be part of his life to come, somehow that would jinx it. If the other two came true he'd be happy enough. He didn't want to push his luck, even if he didn't believe in it.

He hit a button activating the autopilot to the coordinates he'd set for his first destination – The Earth colony on Omar V. He had a few pieces of business to attend to before reentering his life once more.

Hopefully, at the very least it would be just as he left it. He had to get himself as he'd left it as well.

--------------------

Reboarding his ship after his business done, he observed his reflection on the bank of controls and nearly jumped at the shock of seeing his old face once again.

Right before he'd left Minbar he'd let Kate cut his unruly mane of hair into some semblance of shape and shave off his long bushy beard. But after the several weeks traveling to Epilsion III, then to the rift, and then out to Omar V he was beginning to get that wild shaggy Robinson Crusoe look again. He'd decided since he was going to be on a human world for a couple of days anyway he would have himself made more presentable for his final destination.

The barber certainly had his work cut out for him trying to remedy the damage of centuries of freezing and months of utter neglect to his hair. Though significantly shorter than the last time they'd last seen him, it looked a million times better than just hours before. He ran a hand over his freshly shorn jaw and it's first hints of a goatee. It would grow out a bit more in the few weeks it would take to get back in Minbar's homespace.

Her space. That thought made his heart pound nervously as he took off.

------------------

Keeping his head sufficiently low in the dark recesses of the cowl of his cloak to stay completely obscured, he headed to his destination. He was to passersby nothing more than a simple religious caste acolyte on the way to any of the many grand chapels in the capitol city. His heavy booted feet beat out a solid thud with every step. It was the only thing out of character for a religious student who usually wore soft-soled slippers. He hadn't time to do the proper amount of shopping for the job at hand, but luckily so far no one had even given him a second look. The only thing to possibly give him away as anything other than he appeared might have been the cane he used at his side.

He turned into the newest building on the block, an almost opalescent structure with two tall spiraling minarets between them almost seeming to float in mid air, a stylized sculpture of the crest of the Alliance.

He stopped a second and peered up at it with a mixture of freedom and fear. This was it – like it or not - the shit was certainly going to hit the fan now.


	3. Waiting

Hours later, he sat patiently in the waiting room, head safely masked in shadows of his robes. Partially from nerves, and partially from the muscular damage his body now suffered, he couldn't keep his left leg from tapping a rapid impatient staccato. He'd been here several hours now and other than his leg, he had not moved. It drew the occasional raised hairless eyebrow of the Minbari receptionist.

The inner door opened and a human ranger aide stepped through, glancing at her clipboard over the edge of her glasses. "Tehrann?"

Marcus stood slowly, favoring his weak leg. "Yes." Tehrann was a very common name, as common as 'John' on Earth.

"I apologize for the wait, but as we told you Entil'zha Delenn has a very busy schedule today. Due to your paitience we managed to clear a few minutes for you."

"I understand, thank you Anla'shok" he intoned calmly.

"I could have gotten you in hours ago if you would've just been willing to see one of the elders-"

"My message is only for her. I can wait as long as is necessary." She had no idea how long, he thought.

She straightened up, her look darkening with irritation. "Very well, follow me." She sighed, annoyed, spinning on her heels down he hallway.

He struggled to keep in step behind her. He could feel her eyes scanning his frame curiously as she peered over her shoulder as she swiftly moved down the hall. He kept his head low. He was happy this was almost over; his neck was beginning to feel a bit stiff from all the sitting.

He was careful to step lightly and keep his footsteps silent as befitting his 'rank' but his mind was racing. He had no idea what to say once he got where he was going. As soon as he spoke she'd recognize his voice. He knew what he said before the shock hit was quite important to his thinking.

Sunlight poured into the glass hallway as they approached a door at the end. The aide opened it and motioned slightly at the open passage with a crisp wave. "Five minutes. It's all I can give you."

"It will be more than enough. Thank you," he nodded.

He raised his head just enough to see the small figure of Delenn approaching him from across the expansive glass office, and lowered it again. He crossed his hands, touching thumbs to form a triangle and bowed his head in the typical Minbari greeting, which she returned. Already it was approaching the limit of time of what was impolite for someone of his stature to keep his face hidden from someone of her rank.

"Tehrann, is it?" she said searching the shadows of his robes for a face and not finding one. Her brow furrowed at his not revealing himself as protocol dictated. "I was told you wished to speak only to me about something." She looked down curiously at the odd cane at his side.

He raised his head just a bit, to allow a bit of light fall past the cowl and over his mouth. He just had to see her face when he said this. He took a deep breath, holding it for just a second, then smiled just a bit.

This time he spoke in English. "First, I was hoping you could tell me where the bloody bathroom is in this place. I think I was sitting out there for years."

He hadn't quite expected her to faint. He carefully crouched beside her tiny crumpled form, and patted her cheek gently.

He sighed. "Oh come on. I'd think you'd be used to this coming back from the dead thing by now," he said softly smiling. "It was almost a fortnightly occurrence back on Babylon 5."

Marcus waved a hand under her nose to stir the air as he heard swift footsteps approaching from behind him. He recognized them and froze.

"What happened?" John Sheridan appeared, kneeling to the side of the cloaked stranger. He took his wife's hand and cupped her cheek. He looked over at the cloaked stranger. "Did you see?"

He took a deep breath. No use in stretching this out. "Yes," Marcus drew back the hood with a grimace. "So did she… hello again, Mr. President."

Sheridan's face loosened, letting Delenn's hand fall from his. "Hoooly Mother of God," he gasped in shock.

Marcus shook his head, and forced on a nervous smile. "It was nothing that divine I assure you." he said solemnly biting his lip. He looked down at the unconscious Minbari woman. "She heard my voice and just fell over. I wasn't expecting her to do that."

"I know the feeling." Once again the men's attention turned to Delenn's limp form. "She's probably okay; she's done this before. But I'm not taking any chances." He effortlessly picked up the small form of his wife and pushed out the door. He looked his long lost associate in the eye. "You. Come with me." It was NOT a request.

Chaos ensued as the pair strode briskly through the facility to the alarm of all that the Entil'zha was unconscious. Then Marcus saw a few dropped jaws of faces he recognized staring at him, they obviously recognized him as well. He frowned self-consciously pulling his hood back up.

Sheridan reached the facilities medical lab and placed Delenn on a tilt-top gurney as she was rushed in to a glass enclosed exam room surrounded by a swarm of Minbari medical technicians. They quickly belted her in to keep her from falling off.

The President watched a tense second as they took vitals then caught his companions eyes in the glass before them, "David's birth was very difficult on her. I was told it was due to her hybrid biology. She's had some… problems… with high blood pressure ever since. Especially when she's stressed. She's done this a few times; just passed out. So, I don't think it's anything serious."

"I'd hope not. There was nothing in the records... I mean if I had known… I would have found another way to-"

"No way you could have known, only a handful of us do. With reason as I imagine you would guess." He looked in at his wife, his look softening, "She'll be okay. She always is…" He didn't sound so convinced on this last part, a natural spousal concern sneaked in his voice.

"I can't say I blame her." Sheridan chuckled, switching gears. "I thought I was seeing things. I bet she did too."

"No, she looked pretty sure it was me," Marcus said shaking his head slightly. "I hope she's not here long. I really hate hospitals."

"I bet you do." He looked over to the hooded man. "How long did it-"

Just then inside the exam room Delenn stirred, waking with a start. She looked around her surroundings, bewildered, then her eyes settled on the two figures out side her window. One was her husband, the other tall, slim, and enshrouded. Her eyes widened as if she was surprised to see him there, obviously thinking she'd dreamed it.

The hidden visitor raised a pale hand from the robes and wiggled his long thin fingers at her in cautious greeting. Her gaze moved to John's for confirmation. He nodded smiling, then with his hands motioned for her to rest. She now smiled, a wave of relief washed over her leaning back into the exam bed.

She was happy to see him, and for the first time in two years he was happy to be seen.

The doctor emerged with a update. Just as John said, the fainting was a result of a dramatic spike in blood pressure. She was fine now but they were going to keep her a couple hours for observation, just to be safe. She gave the pair a "scoot scoot" motion encouraging them to leave.

Sheridan thumped Marcus on the back. "Looks like she'll be fine, let's let her doctor's work." He turned the window and gave a little wave. She waved back, her smile now centered on Marcus' hidden form as he bowed in abeyance as he turned to leave.

He looked back to Marcus, His smile faded. "And you… you have a lot of explaining to do."


	4. Reuniting with Old Friends

Marcus arched his back, stretching against the mattress, enjoying the warmth of the morning sun on his skin. He rolled over and reached out with his arms to find nothing but cool empty sheets. It jarred him out of his slumber. Where was she? Why hadn't she woken him before she left?

His eyes creaked opened in confusion and he looked around the strange room. It took a second to get his bearings, then he remembered. He was in a guestroom at Delenn and Sheridan's house in Tuzanor. He rubbed at his eyes and sat up. He'd actually done it; he'd come back. He knew he was nuts, but it felt different now. This was his time.

Even after several months, the other Minbar, the one to come, felt foreign. They were more in awe of him. No one spoke to him, they spoke at him, eyes lowered. They were too awed of the fact of who he knew and when he knew them, than to get to know him. All but one, he reminded himself as a twang of regret began to seep through him. No, it was done. This was where he was from, and where he needed to be.

He slipped off the flat Earth bed and looked out the tall paned window which overlooked the pristine placid lake it bordered. Blue Tem'Schwee birds frolicked on branches outside near where he stood. He could hear their sweet song through the panes of glass. The view of the city beyond had changed little since he last saw it, in the future. He doubted it had changed much in a thousand years.

His noted that his strength was still quite low as he did his morning exercises. Sitting so long the day before in the waiting room was his main affliction today causing a tremor in his legs when he did his stretching – it was not even half of his old routine. He had been awake a year and half in his timeframe and it would be many more months before he was what he would consider near full-strength. If it was possible at all. His doctors in the future had said he might never fully recover. He didn't like to think about that.

Marcus intended to depart to a hotel the evening before, but Sheridan would have nothing of it, saying there would be 'no end of hell' if he let him out of his sight before Delenn saw him again and had given him a room in their home in which to stay. They'd talked till late into the night, Sheridan had been quick to chastise him for leaving the battle and his shock at learning the reason. He also confided that he hoped now that he was back, things could return to some semblance of normal. That the scars of his tragic actions could somehow heal.

He yawned pulling his shirt back on, smoothed a hand over his disheveled hair. He padded barefoot out into the large open living area towards the bathroom to overhear John talking to the com panel in his office as he passed.

"You're sure the chamber is still there?"

Marcus heard the voice of Lillian Hobbes "Of course, Mr. President. Where could it go?"

John looked over and saw his lanky bushy-eyed guest. "Oh, you'd be surprised..." Then he turned back to the screen, made his goodbyes and turned guiltily towards Marcus. "Did you sleep well?"

"Like the dead," Marcus said drolly with a smile. "Sorry had to. Checking up on me, aye?" he asked putting his hands on his hips nodding towards the console with a deep yawn.

Sheridan tousled his short hair with a heavy exhale. "Well, even you have to admit the story sounds pretty far-fetched."

"I would normally be the first to agree with you, but having lived it I can assure you it's all true, " he said frankly. "I don't make it a habit to lie."

Sheridan nodded stepping closer and studying his face. "Except for the hair, you don't look any different."

Marcus swept back his hair dramtically. "Do you like it? I thought I could use a bit of a makeover since being warmed back up. It might be a bit, I dunno... young for me. I mean I am 336 years old, well, 337 in the spring.

Sheridan just stared at him blankly. "It's you alright."

Marcus smiled. He was trying to lighten it up and it worked. He changed back to the last topic. "When you returned from Zha'dum you didn't look a scrap different. It doesn't mean it didn't happen."

"Good point," Sheridan acquiesced begrudingly.

Delenn cleared her throat drawing the men's attention to the hallway."Good Morning, gentlemen." She had just woken up, clothed in a flowing bed robe. She must have come home early this morning.

Marcus took a step backwards. "You're not going to do that again are you?" he asked concerned, but smiled warmly.

"I have had sufficient time to absorb your presence. I will be fine." She moved and wrapped her arms around him firmly in a hug, then pulled back to touch her forehead to his. "I have missed you more than words can say." She placed a hand on his heart. It was a tender Minbari expression of love and friendship. "Felcha nah tooay zahn."

"And I you," he said placing his hand high on her chest, where the Minbari heart resided. "Felcha nah tooay zahn." He smiled.

"Well, uhm, I'll leave you kids to yourselves, I need to get to work." Sheridan ducked into the pair and kissed Delenn on the cheek and thrust out his hand to him. "Marcus, Welcome home."

Marcus shook it. It was the first time he'd used his name. He must be finally willing to believe it. "Thank you, Mr President. It's good to be home," he said, meaning it.

John nodded, and looked at his wife for a signal it was in fact okay to leave and receiving his confirmation closed the door behind him.

Delenn took his hand and lead him to the sitting area. He took a place next to her on the couch.

"I should be very upset with you… leaving us as you did. But, I am more pleased to have you with me again."

"Thank you. I never realized I even had friends until they were all gone," he softly noted aloud.

"A lesson we have learned all too well recently." She grasped his hand in hers. "So. John has told me how this all came to pass. Three hundred years? What can you tell us?"

Marcus shook his head. "Well as I told him, I honestly didn't pay attention. I rather zoned out on some of the expansive history lessons, I had other things on my mind I'm afraid. I didn't want to know, really. So, I'm not much help there, and what I DO know I don't think it's a good idea to say."

"Very well. That is wise. Can you at least tell me how my dear friend Draal was when you last saw him?"

Marcus gritted his teeth, "Probably very miffed at me about now. Or will be."

She appeared confused. "I was told he assisted you."

Marcus bit his lip. "I didn't... exactly get his help to come back."

"This is supposed to surprise me?" Delenn said with an amused smirk. "I wouldn't have you any other way I fear."

"But… When last I saw him he was fine. Better than fine I suppose. Seems to have some annoyance issues with visitors."

"Visitors?"

"Seems at some point you establish a courtesy of sending Rangers every so often to check up on him. See if he was well, or in need of anything. He seems to think every ten years is a bit too often, but I think he lets it continue because he was fond of you."

"I was thinking of establishing just this very thing. Are you saying I should not?"

"No, no! Far from it," he said. "If you hadn't I never would have managed to gain the access codes to dock on Epsilon III to come back at all."

She blinked like it made sense, "Of course. Then I will proceed." She nodded then looked back at him. "Should I ask how you got the access code?"

He smiled. "Probably not."

"I think in this situation I will, as John says, 'let it slide'." Her face darkened. "Does anyone else know you are here?" The question hung there ominously. Had he contacted Susan yet?

His voice lowered. "No, you were the first person on my list." he offered.

"Good, we should keep it that way for now"

"I did what I could to stay off radar since I don't have an identicard anymore. I parked my ship in an old cave a few miles away and walked into town. Been staying under wraps in the robe. I know we can't keep it a secret for ever, but as far as I can tell, so far so good."

She nodded. "I will get your identicard reactivated as soon as I can, and create an anlashok record to cover this as an assignment."

"What will you say happened?"

"I do not know yet," she frowned. "But, I will talk to John, he is much better at those sorts of things."

"You mean lying?"

She smiled a tiny smirk. "Let's call it 'creative truth'."

He rubbed his palms together slowly thinking then ran the hands roughly over his face leaning back into the cushions. "Seems like it was all a dream now. That I made up this grand story in my head."

"Let us pray this chapter ends better."

"Yeah, well, it can't be much worse, the last one really sucked." he groaned smiling. "So. Did I at least have a nice funeral?"

Delenn winced, screwing her lips shut. Her eyes evaded his. "Uhm… not exactly."

"Not exactly?" he sat up, eyes wide in disbelief. He didn't like where this was going. "What do you mean 'not exactly'?"

"We did not, how do you say-" she fumbled for the words

His jaw fell. "Are you telling me after all I did for you guys I DIDN'T even get a bloody funeral!"

She placed a firm arm on his forearm quickly trying to explain "No one had the heart to acknowledge it. It was not out of disrespect. I assure you."

"It's all right, I understand." He nodded, not really understanding, furrowing his brow. Denied a funeral, well that was just his luck he supposed. never could have a single thing everyone else took for granted. "Okay… verging away... How is she? I heard she took it rather badly."

Delenn widened her eyes thinking. Finally she answered after a few seconds. "She has never quite been the same as she was before your leaving. I do think some part of her passed beyond with you. Maybe now it will return, as you have."

"Easier said than done I'm afraid. Trust me." Marcus smiled, raking his fingers through his sleep tangled hair, then looked up at her fearfully. "Does she know yet?"

"No," she said quickly. "But, we will deal with that soon enough. And we will need to give her time."

"Time. Time I have. Swimming in it." He mumbled but ten smiled at her sadly. "Why can't one thing in my life ever be simple?"

She squeezed his hand smiling proudly. "It wouldn't suit you." She released his hand and stood. "David should be awake by now, would you like to meet him?"

"Just try and stop me," he smiled.


	5. Tests and Choices

The Minbari had healed his body, but they were useless on healing his mind. All their meditative parlor tricks required self examination – something he never wanted to do again. The less he looked at himself the better.

After being awoken he had fallen deeply into despair, anger, loneliness. And even deeper in a bottle. And he looked it. He had not so much as shaved or gotten a haircut since his awakening. His beard, once immaculately trimmed, was now thick and long and his hair now hung past his shoulder blades in wild untamed locks which he usually wore unbound for the weird hermit look he preferred to hide behind to discourage the curious. But mainly because he just didn't care anymore. He had nothing or no one to care about. They were all gone.

When first awoken he was as weak as a newborn kitten. Months of intensive therapy later his first shaky walk out of the hospital had led directly to a small bar for human rangers. And he didn't walk back out for two days when the bar owner called the rangers to come get him.

His identity and miraculous regeneration had leaked across the ranger campus. He was inundated with new young rangers desperate to talk to the one who knew Delenn, and was mourned the rest of her life by Anla'shok'na Ivanova. They asked questions so laden with hero worship it made his stomach turn. They followed him around the capitol city in groups. Even after he moved into an apartment granted him they could always be found outside his door when he came home.

He couldn't give them the answers they wanted. They had built up so much in their minds with help of three hundred years of legends that any answer he truthfully gave sounded boring. They didn't want the truth. They didn't want to know there were hard times, that no one was perfect, that they were just regular people and what they'd done had consequences and done it's own share of harm.

One evening several months after awaking he sat in the bar five drinks into his ordinary seven drink evening, a young blonde ranger sat next to him. Maybe 25, her ivory skin glowing of life and a heart that still believed in things.

"Hello," she beamed at him, her soft hesitant voice lilting him out of his dark thoughts.

He sighed into his glass, not looking at her "I'm not in the mood to tell some more damned ghost stories," he growled drinking it down. "Another please," he told the bartender.

"Listen, I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

Out of the corner of his eye he viewed the young woman past his wild mane of hair he hid inside now. "For what?"

"For what happened, for everything that's happened. For the other Rangers following you like you're freaking Valen. It just makes me mad."

"Valen wouldn't have put up with it either," He informed her, getting his drink. "Believe me," he growled, still staring straight ahead.

She held out her hand, now smiling. "I'm Kate."

He looked at it like she were holding a dead Zarg, but did not take it. "Nice to meet you." he hissed back sounding the further from the truth.

She uncomfortably pulled her hand away. "Yeah. Anyway, I just wanted to say that not all of us are so awful. I think what you all did was very brave." She stood up to leave. Just then the bartender returned from the other end and asked her if she wanted something to drink. She opened her mouth to refuse but was interuppted.

"A whisky for the lady," Marcus instructed, and pushed a credit chit forward.

Kate looked at him in shock. The bar went silent. Any previous attempts to share a drink with the "Retro Ranger" had always been rebuffed. He was always the black hole of seething despair at the corner of a bar otherwise filled with life and merriment. Most who frequented the bar learned to steer clear of him.

He finally turned his head to look at her, a catlike sly smirk his face "You wouldn't let an old man drink alone would you?"

"Well if you're buying," Her hand reached out and she shot back the powerful brown liquor without so much as a flinch and slid the glass back to the bartender. "Make it a double this time." she said taking her seat at Marcus' side. The Bartender looked at Marcus in shocked amusement.

"Well, you heard the lady, a double. And make one for me while you are at it."

Marcus shared many drinks with Kate over the next months. They grew amicably into a fond mentoring type friendship, despite the rumors across campus. These rumors were not helped by the fact that he indeed did share his bed quite often with her as well.

He knew, in her mind, this a way of trying to help him heal. And he wanting to feel anything real again, and stop thinking of the past for five minutes was happy enough to let her. Luckily, he'd been drunk their first time, so he could pass off his half-assed virgin attempt as mere intoxication.

But there had been many other times since, and to say any of them hadn't been incredibly special or "making love" would have been a lie. He did love her, just not in any tangible romantic way. He didn't think he had the capacity for that kind of love again. And while she was quite fond of him, that was clear, she had a boyfriend back home she was going to marry when her three year commitment with the Rangers was up in 14 months. Marcus was her little pet charity case, and oddly he was fine with that. It kept him from reading into things. It kept him from thinking at all.

He stared out over the spiraling towers and serene parks parks bathed in the same morning light that poured out of window in the small apartment he'd contracted in Tuzanor. The sunlight splashed in a dappled gold puddle on the floor and over his feet. He scratched at his long wiry beard and yawned just as warm arms snacked around his waist from behind. He smiled warmly, patting the forearms at his waist.

"Good morning," Kate sang, quickly kissing the back of his shoulder and giving his lithe middle a soft squeeze.

Morning," he greeted groggily.

"Another nightmare?" she asked concerned. "Which S-word this time?" The S-words were Susan and Shadows. He wasn't sure which was the most disturbing.

He shook his head "No nightmares, just can't sleep."

"You never sleep, despite me doing my best to try to wear you out." She squeezed his belly with her arms.

Marcus chuckled, squeezing her hand back. "Yeah, you do. I did sleep some, I haven't been up long." He lied. He'd been standing here waiting for sunrise since the middle of the night.

"By the way, I have a present for you," she whispered into his ear, her chin on his shoulder.

"Present aye?" he said "It's not my birthday is it?" he smiled, then thought, no that wasn't until April. He'd be 337 in the spring.

"Not that I know of, but then you never tell me anything." She laughed then pulled away, sprinting to her uniform tossed over the chair and began searching her pockets. It was a lie, she knew everything. He'd even told her the truth about Valen one particularly long evening, knowing she'd keep it to herself. And she had.

She appeared in front of him presenting an overturned closed fist. "Hold out your hand and close your eyes," she instructed playfully.

"Oh come on," Marcus groaned. "It's too early for games."

"It's a really good present, I promise," Kate teased beaming a wide bright smile. He shook his head and closed his eyes. "All right," he groaned.

"Hand," she ordered, and he instantly offered it palm up. He felt her place something light in his hand and then her fingers pressed his fingers shut. Paper?

"Okay!" she said finally and he opened her eyes to see her obviously amused with herself.

He opened his hand to find a folded slip of paper. He unfolded it to find only a bunch of letters and numbers in Minbari. Before he could speak she jumped in to explain.

"It hit me the other day," Kate said excitedly. "You can go back."

"Go back to what?" he asked puzzled.

"Your time." It was all see needed to say as then he recognized the coordinates on the top line.

Marcus stared at her in shock. He couldn't believe he never thought of it himself. Back to his own time. Why hadn't he thought of this possibility? He'd spent so many months drowning in self-pity the obvious had all but been in front of him the entire time. "Draal," he breathed; but just barely. Marcus' mind was racing; and so was his heart. His hand crushed the note in his hand as his body slowly sunk to the floor.

Kate scrambled to slow his fall, easing him against the wall. "Woah, you haven't done that in a while. You okay?" she asked concerned, her hands lessening their grip on him.

He looked into her eyes, and smiled nodding a little to quickly. "I'm just embarrassed I didn't think of it first." Their eyes drifted uncomfortably apart to Marcus' still clenched hand. A heavy silence chilled the room.

"It's not widely known, but the ranger's still visit every decade or so just check up on him. Make sure he's okay and all that. It was one of Delenn's orders when she was around. The second line is the access code to get you past the Great Machine's security net and inside the doors – after that you're on your own. I wish I could do more, but that was hard enough for me to get. Don't ask how I got it. I owe a bunch of people a lot of favors."

Marcus's brain was swimming, suddenly feeling the only ties holding him together since waking up letting loose. He had made friends here, and more than friends, he'd made a life such as it was, and struggled less and less to find his balance point. And Kate... The thought of staying, of trying to fully give himself to this woman who believed in him, who actually appreciated him for what he was, thorns and all, who was in the present and seemed to honestly care for him was omnipresent in his mind. To finally let go of the past and begin living and stop merely existing suddenly seemed like a obtainable goal. He didn't want to let go. She had become his anchor in the rollicking emotional seas. He could be happy with her, he could be with this woman and in time forget the life he'd once had.

He raised a hand to her face and cupped her cheek, "I'm not sure I want to go back." he murmured."I have more here than I ever had there."

"Marcus," she soothed running her hand over his shaggy head. "I could tell, your first instinct wasn't to stay..."

It had been a test, and he failed miserably. But she was right. The first thing in his mind was running to the dock and heading to Epsilon III at top hyperspace speed.

She tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him foreward to touch his forehead to hers. "You've spent countless hours in the records library researching all the people you knew. You've read every book, journal and biography they have on Sheridan's War and Entilzhas Delenn and Ivanova. Hell, If you'd thought of it first, you'd already be gone. We both know that. You have never been happy here, no matter how I tried you never stopped trying to live in the past. I finally found a way to give you everything you wanted -" tears welled up in her eyes.

Those words stabbed him in the soul, he took her hand in his. he cut her off. "She wasn't better than you are, you know. I won't lie to you. Perfect she was not. She was every bit as messed up as I am. If not more."

"Which is why you still love her." The sentence hung there with her unspoken finish.

"I never said I didn't love you."

"No, You didn't." Kate said, her voice stronger now "And neither did I. We both knew what this was when it started."

"Yes, but what it turned into... is another matter entirely." He caressed one of her cheeks looking deeply into her brown eyes. "I do love you."

"I know you do. And I know if i said 'stay' you would, but I want you to be happy, and you aren't here. You never have been." Kate said huskily kissing him, brushing her tongue over his lips.

He smiled, "Yes I have. I just didn't know I was till now." It was too little too late.

She sat her hand gently on his thigh to change the topic, "Got your land legs back?"

"I think so, why?"

"Good." She smiled jumping to her feet. She grabbed both his hands and began to pull him to stand. "Get dressed, I have one more surprise for you."

"Oh, Katie, I don't know if I can handle anymore surprises today." He groaned wearily putting his hand over his heart and feigning a pain.

"This one is in in the docking bay. Interested yet?"

He dressed quickly and she escorted him to the small cargo bay where a small Exanosphere ship was waiting. The small Minbari/Earth hybrid craft was the top of the line exploration model. It was as small and maneuverable as a fighter but had a jump engine. They'd gotten it from some raiders and Kate had arranged for it to be 'lost' for him to use.

They returned back to his tiny apartment and packed his meager items he'd gathered in his stay into a bag. That night, after dinner, he asked her to do what she'd been begging for him to do for months. Cut his hair and trim his overgrown beard down to something less akin to a wild animal.

Kate beamed wide bright smile. "You mean it?"

"Yep. My present to you. Go nuts," he said enjoying seeing her smile for the first time in hours.

She laughed and ran to get the scissors, almost gleefully.

She returned an placed a chair by the sink and took his hand and led him to sit in it then placed a towel around his neck "How short did it used to be?" she asked standing behind him, gathering his long hair into a thick shaggy rope with her fingers.

"It was about here." he said motioning above his shoulders. "But I can find a barber later to make it presentable. I just don't want to draw attention because I look like a mad bomber."

"Will do," she said and promptly cut through with two easy snips, his hair fell forward around his jaw. She dropped the bundle of hair in her hand to the floor. "God that felt good." Kate sighed and feigned a shiver. He chuckled. She then worked quickly to straighten out the jagged cut.

Once satisfied, came around the front. "Now that beard," She ran a hand over his long wiry beard, a sly mischievous smile lit up her face. "All the way?"

He was about to say no, but instead relented, seeing the barely contained anticipation in her eyes "All the way." It could easily grow it back in to a version of it's Babylon 5 era incarnation in a week or so anyway.

"So you can't change your mind…" Kate said stradding his lap and sitting upon his thighs. "And try to get away." She opened and closed the scissors quickly with a ching-ching sound for effect.

She got quickly to work on his beard. He hung his arms loosely at his sides as she began snipping the hair away, her fingers shaping the long wiry strands into sections for removal with careful clips.

He relaxed under her soft touch, enjoying the care and attention she spent on him, the sensual way her fingers caressed his face in her work. He would miss her, by god. Every once in a while his eyes would catch hers as she worked, she'd smile sadly and look away continuing with her cutting, saying nothing. Niether could bear to discuss it anymore.

Once she clipped it all down to jagged stubbled layer the scissors had not removed, she ran her fingers over the face she'd only wondered about in all the time she'd known him.

She smiled studying him. "Well, well, well, I knew it. There is a handsome guy under there," Kate said placing her palms to his cheeks and giving him a kiss.

He kissed her back, and ran his hand over his jaw. "Nice. I can take it from here."

She removed his hand. "No no, you said all the way…" She smiled. "And all the way is what you you'll get."

He laughed softly as Kate leaned to the countertop and grabbed the bar of soap and turned on the faucet. With wet hands she built a lather on the soap and rubbed the thick suds into the jagged stubble on his face. Her fingers worked deftly with the razor rinsing it in the stream of water from the sink as she went. In long easy strokes she removed the last of the stubble from his now smooth cheeks.

Kate took the towel from his shoulders and wiped the last of the suds away, her eyes and fingers once more explored the contours of his newly revealed face. "Very handsome indeed."

He felt naked for the first time again. Exposed, and vulnerable as he did his first time with her so many months ago. He owed so much to her, she had saved him from himself and the dark thoughts that had threatened to take over and lead him to even darker places. He pulled her into his arms, kissing her. Clothes soon joined the hair on the floor.

The next morning she accompanied him to the bank to withdraw the money that had been raised in his trust account started by Delenn. Kate didn't know it was millions of credits, and she didn't need to.

He handed Kate an envelope walking out.

"What's this?" she asked beginning to open it, then her eyes widened in shock.

"That's the keycard and some money to help you with the rent."

"Some money? There's over 200,000 credits in here. Marcus, I can't take this."

"I'll have more than I'll ever need as it is, trust me, and I want you to have it. And, as far as the apartment, it's all your stuff anyway." He smiled.

Now they stood at the ship waiting for him to take off. "I'll make sure to let you know I'm okay when I get there."

She looked puzzled, the first tear beginning to build in her eyes. "How do you expect to do that?"

"The Minbari never throw anything away," he smiled. "Time you caught up on your reading, don't you think?" He enclosed Kate in his arms, kissing her lips lightly one last time.


	6. Nowhere to hide

Almost a month later later Marcus was rarely seen without a small dark haired boy in tow. David adored him and was constantly dragging him to go play with his spaceships or splay Rangers and Raiders. Marcus in turn had grown quite attached to the boy and had taken up the task of reading to him in English and Minbari, sometimes several times a day, and was trying to teach him some Drazi and Narn as well.

Stephen had arrived a couple days after his arrival upon Delenn and John's call to give him the news. After nearly squeezing the stuffing out of him, the 'Good Doctor' immediately started an endless battery of tests. Marcus dealt with them graciously. He knew Franklin needed scientific results to understand, and he'd had enough tests in his recent future that a few more seemed a drop in the bucket. He also knew John and Delenn wanted their own questions answered and Stephen was the best person for the job. He was the only person they would believe.

Dr. Franklin had stuck around a couple weeks to monitor his progress, set up Marcus' future physical therapy that he would personally monitor and coordinate from Earth He now was lending a hand to the Minbari doctors at the Alliance headquarters with his wide Xenobiological knowledge but was due to leave in a few days to return to his regular duties in EarthDome. Marcus absently rubbed at the location of the good doctor's last puncture, he missed him again already.

Stephen's presence had certainly helped him pass the massive amounts of free time he had over the last few weeks, but only served to remind him how long he'd been here and that they had not seemingly contacted Susan yet. The fact that every time he mentioned contacting Susan Sheridan and Delenn changed the topic was weighing heavily on him. Had they already told her? Did she not want to see him and they were sparing his feelings? He didn't know, but he knew the longer they put it off the angrier she would be, and the woman had quite a capacity for anger. He couldn't leave it up to them anymore. And if she didn't want to see him, he had to hear it with his own ears.

He carefully extricated the sleeping toddler from his lap, picking up the small toy that had fallen from his sleepy grasp and onto the floor. The others were still asleep as it was still quite early, but Turkell was up and already beginning the morning meal. With a careful ear to the bedroom door listening for their soft even breathing he crept his way to John's small office in the rear of the house.

A discreet search surrendered the information he sought in a traditional paper address book on the desk, the access sequence to reach Ivanova's ship. He jotted the numbers down on a notepad and slipped the piece of paper into his pocket. He heard a set of footsteps approaching; he silently jumped to the book case and began to casually look at the small stack of real books along one wall just as the footsteps' owner entered.

"I thought I heard someone in here," John yawned, one hand grasping a mug of his morning tea.

"Just me. I was feeling up to a read, I thought you might have something in here that I might like." He held up a volume.

John nodded, "Ah. Ah… I just thought maybe you'd found the address for Ivanova I left out for you last night." He motioned with his mug he held towards the desk. Marcus stared dumbly, mouth slightly agape.

"We called her a week ago while you were out for a walk with David. She asked for some time to stomach all this. Been long enough don't you think?"

He looked at his hand and the unassuming note with a long line of numbers that held the possibility to change everything; it was the second such paper-based epiphany to cross his palm in his short new life. After his brain wrapped itself in that fact he mumbled out "Only a week ago? I've been here nearly a month."

"Yeah, Sorry about the delay. It was the first time we'd been able to get though to her. Her ship was on maneuvers and under orders to run silent with no transmissions in or out. We had to wait till they opened communications again."

"Oh." Marcus' face darkend and he stood deep in thought for several moments staring at the note in his hand. He hadn't dared to ask this question until now. "Am I doing the right thing?"

"What?" Sheridan's brow furrowed.

Marcus sighed rubbing his eyes, and let out a growl in frustration. "Until this moment I didn't think about if I should see her, just that I… wanted to. I mean, I know what happens, her future, and I wouldn't want to risk that. Not sure I could bear changing it."

"She knows you're back. Too late to turn tail and run."

"Is it? I just wanted to tell her I was okay. To take one more load off her shoulders. I knew she… didn't take what I did well and I didn't want her to worry anymore. Just trying to spare her a lifetime of guilt."

"Nice thought, but a bit too late," John clucked sourly. "She was pretty messed up guilt-wise before you ever came along."

"This is slightly different scenario I think."

"Not to her. Trust me." Sheridan stated bluntly. "So, what is she supposed to do that you can't risk?"

Marcus bit his lip, he shouldn't say, but he knew the man could keep a secret. "You can't tell anyone. I mean anyone. Especially not Delenn."

Sheridan nodded, stepping in and closing the door behind him, on his face an air of doubt as to how much of more he would believe, or put up with, was unmistakable on his face

Marcus took a deep breath. He explained how the post of Entila'za goes eventually to Ivanova, and that she would become one of the greatest leaders to the Rangers and Minbari alike. Second only to Valen in the MInbari's eyes.

Sheridan was skeptical. "Susan? Yeah… right. Try to sell me another one."

"I'm not kidding. They will teach about her principles for generations. Minbari children will be named after her." He pointed out towards the road. "Just six blocks from here they'll build her shrine… truly the most stunning thing you ever saw. Every bit as beautiful as she is. Then, he smiled. "Just as pointy too."

Sheridan was chewing some words over in his mind, then finally he spoke. "Since we're trading future stories... I saw the future once, did you know that?"

"No. When?"

"I phased out of time, on Babylon4. Remember?"

Marcus nodded, he did remember him several times vanishing. "Yes… I do, but you never said anything about it though."

"No, no I didn't. With good reason." He gaze shifted off into the distance. "I flashed to some point in the future, well, possible future anyway, I guess. I don't know where, or when, exactly but somewhere on Centuari Prime… years from now. It was in flames; as far as the eye could see – ruins. Attacked by the Drahk." Marcus watched as the older man's faced hardened thinking back, or ahead rather. "Delenn was there, and David was.. nevermind...

"Somehow, she knew I was phasing in, hell, I don't know how she knew, but she knew. She begged me, pleaded for me not to go to Zha'dum. I didn't know what was going on, it was all a shock you know? Opening your eyes and you have no idea where you are."

"Yes, I do. But, at least you had familiar faces," Marcus said staring out over the nearby park deep in thought.

"Not as much as you'd think." Sheridan voiced almost under his breath. "Do you know why I went to Zaha'dum anyway?"

Marcus's brow furrowed, and he looked over at John. This was the million dollar question of the ages. "No."

"Because I second guessed fate. I thought what if that future happened because I listened to her warning and I didn't go. That maybe if I went, it would change it somehow. That the things I saw would be prevented. I was wrong, I think. Hell, I'll never know for sure. And neither will you."

John took a deep breath and continued with a less haunted look, "Fate's called Fate, Marcus, because it happens regardless of how many things you throw at it.

"I went because I over-thought it, just like you are over-thinking it, and it's not even your fate. It's hers. Do you think she cares if she becomes some holy relic on the Minbari Top Ten list? Hell no. Fate doesn't need help. If it's meant to happen - it will."

"You've been around Delenn too long," Marcus smiled sadly, then sat on the edge of the desk. "What if it doesn't? I don't know if I could stand knowing I've changed so much of the future."

"News flash - you already have just by showing up, you've changed it all, for all of us. And I hope for the better." He put this hand on the younger man's shoulder, smiling. "And anyway, maybe she'll become even greater than Valen, in SPITE of you."

Marcus couldn't keep the grin from emerging, almost seeing her defiant 'I-told-you-so' stance in his head. "She'd do it just to prove me wrong."

"Damn straight," The President withheld a grin, taking a sip from his cup then turned to the doorway. He opened the door to leave. "I'll let you get back to the business at hand. And, yes, you're doing the right thing. She needs this to be over. And so you you." he said closing the door behind him.

Marcus could hear him gently informing the young David that "Uncle Marcus" was busy right now and Turkell was making his breakfast in the kitchen.

The boy's footsteps could be heard plodding down the hallway dejectedly.


	7. ETA

She was coming.

It had been 4am earth time on her ship when he called, she had taken the call audio only. It had been uncomfortable and perfunctory, her responses cool and distant; but she did say she wanted to see him. They 'needed to talk.' she said. He thought it sounded rather positive considering he couldn't get her to 'talk' with him when they were both in the 'Never Been Dead Club', as Kate had called it.

She told him was coming as soon as she could get to a transfer point from the rim, then hop on a commercial liner to Minbar. Marcus offered to send a Whitestar, momentarily forgetting he no longer had the authority though he was positive Delenn would gladly send it all the same.

She refused, brusquely saying felt it was important this was as low key as possible. The less attention the better, and Whitestar playing taxi to an Earthforce Captain who was on the "wrong side" of thier civil war was certainly attention grabbing. He hated to admit it but he agreed with her, even if it did increase her travel time by several days.

He felt as if a very large axe was hanging over his head, but at the same time electric with anticipation. By the end of the next week, she would be there.

He had more time to figure out what he would say. How to explain away what he did, the true reasons. No way around that, he knew. She was too smart to lie to. Some of the last words she spoke to him tipped him off she in fact knew already. Time to pay the piper was long since past, literally. Now there was only time for truth.

She was coming - and Hell was most likely coming with her.

* * *

Sheridan had called and dropped the biggest brick on her that had ever been dropped on anyone in the universe out of blue. She had to give him credit though where it was due; Sheridan had broke it to her extremely gently which couldn't have been easy to do for him either. After all, how do you tell someone that the person that killed themselves so you could live was not only alive, but had come back in time to see you. You certainly can't ever practice for that like you can other difficult messages. It was so large one's mind could not simply wrap around it. 

Her mind still hadn't wrapped around it as she hadn't slept since the call almost four days before. Being the creature of duty and habit she was she'd decided if she couldn't sleep she'd work. Okay, not work exactly, but she was present. Kind of. She sat in her chair on the command desk and limply stared out at the red swirling vastness that was Hyperspace.

Finally, one of her younger lieutenants approached hesitantly. "Ma'am? We're still 4 days out of Humbolt. There's really nothing for you to do here, heck there's not much for me to do. But, you look like you could use the rest. I would be honored to walk you back to your quarters."

Susan regarded him cautiously, she could tell he had no idea why they were going to the transfer point, but it had her all disjointed and therefore must be some personal emergency. He looked at her with sincere concern, and a little unknowing pity. But he did have a point.

They were flying on autonav off the beacons - there was nothing to do. The fact he offered to walk her back meant he was more than concerned about her ability to make it home, probably due to the fact she hadn't moved so much as a hair in two shifts. She probably looked like hell. She probably smelled like hell. 'Well, that would explain why he's staying a few feet away.' she thought to herself with a little smile. She looked at the chron her chair, 0230.

She rose slowly, the hours of inactivity had taken effect on her joints. She groaned without meaning to and stood up straight. "I can make it home by myself", she said, then smiled appreciatively. "Thanks anyway, Josh."

He snapped to attention and gave a little nod of salute, but obviously surprised she had used his first name so casually. "Welcome Ma'am." he was one of the few officers who seemed to not bare any grudges about her part in Clarke's war. She nodded and found a large yawn invading her face as she went to talk, so she just waved her hand in a sloppy salute and tiredly shuffled out the door and back to her quarters.

Arriving she kicked off her shoes and fell face first into bed, immediately falling asleep. Almost immediately the stellarcom next to her bedroom door began to bleat. She rolled over on her back into bed, raising her arms to the heavens as if pleading "why me?" to the god's above.

"Audio." she hissed out load, sitting upright in her bed as the connection tone sounded to tell her the call was active. "This better be good." she croaked groggily, then noticed the chron on the screen said 4am. She had been asleep for almost two hours, it was little more than a blink.

There was a short hesitation, then she heard the voice she'd only heard in her nightmares the past three years... "Hello, Susan? It's... it's... Marcus." His voice was soft and hesitant, but sounded just as she remembered.

It was as if she'd been punched in the stomach, all air had left her body in one sudden instant. Her mouth moved but no sound came out.

"Susan?" he called out over the wire again.

God, she'd missed the way he said her name, it was like he caressed each and ever syllable - but then she had always been a sucker for accents. "I'm here." she said slowly, setting her hands to the cold black screen.

"I'm sorry, Am I calling too late?" he quickly apologized.

She bit her trembling lip. "It's not too late." she said struggling for words. She had to be careful what she said as she wasn't sure that Earthforce hadn't tapped her unit.

"Oh good, John said that it would alright... nevermind... how how h- are you, well?" She'd never heard him stammer before, he had always been so confident even when he was bullshitting her.

"I'm fine." she said mechanically, her eyes fixed on the black screen. Suddenly, she regretted setting it to audio only now, she wanted to see his face. No, needed to see his face, she was about to tell it to switch to video when she caught her reflection in the darkened screen. It removed the regret. Her hair was disheveled, she was pale, her uniform wrinkled as she had fallen into bed with it on, her face was sallow, eyes dark and sunken from exhaustion. "I'm in transit to Humboldt Station right now. Should be there in maybe 4 days. Then, what? 10 days to Minbar?"

"Thats about right."

"So. Two weeks I should be there..."

"Susan - You... you don't have to come, if you don't want to. I just wanted to let you know I was alright, that it worked out. I'd understand if you didn't want-"

"No." she came back, sounding more stern than intended but fearing being monitored she cut him off before he said too much. "Too much has happened - we need to talk. Besides I have about 6 months of leave I need start to burning up anyway. I've been saving it for a special occasion, I think this qualifies." She heard him sigh relievedly.

They talked a few minutes more. He offered to come pick her up in Whitestar, or have one sent for her, it would be "just like old times" he had nervously joked. She quickly rebuffed the idea explaining that someone in her unique position in the fleet being taxied by a Whitestar after the unpleasantness of just a few years before would be a bad idea. Truth was she wasn't sure she could stomach being on a Whitestar again after all the nightmares. And him picking her up on one? Much too close to "old times" for her comfort, and much too soon.

"I should let you go," Marcus said softly after a uncomfortable moment of pause. "I just saw what time is for you there. You should be sleeping." his voice said gently.

"You're right, I should. But I think we both know the chances of that." she said touching the screen once more. "Take care." she breathed, severing the connection abruptly, bursting into tears as soon as the tone signaling the end of the call sounded.


	8. The Substitute

The next morning Marcus woke in a blaze of morning sunshine once more. His dreams had been many that night, but troubled, all concerned Susan's pending arrival - some had not exactly been all that pleasant. He yawned happy to have them over, he had to remain positive this was the right thing and the right time. Proceeding downstairs to the bathroom and took his morning shower. He was lazily slumped over his breakfast while reading a book over the kitchen table, when Delenn suddenly was before him standing patiently, as if out of thin air.

"Delenn?" he asked amused by her timid call for his attention.

"Are you... busy?" she wound her fingers together nervously. Not a good sign.

"No. What's up?" he asked and suddenly began to wish he'd stayed in bed a bit longer.

"Sech Durhan has fallen ill."

He sat up instantly concerned for his former teacher. "What's happened? Is it serious?"

She waved her hand. "A minor respiratory ailment has suffered for some years I'm afraid has worsened recently. He will be fine with some time to recover the doctors say."

"Oh good." Feeling the other shoe hanging in midair, he prodded her, "And…"

"And it leaves us without a Level 1 Denbok instructor." She said then softly smiling.

Marcus' jaw fell, then snapped firmly into place "No."

"It would only be for a few days, perhaps a week. I would not ask if I was not confident you were the right person."

"Delenn, I am in no shape to teach a denbok class! Hell, I never would have considered myself competent for teaching Denbok to anyone when I was in prime condition. I haven't even practiced since I woke up. I'm certainly not worthy to replace the finest living master of the art himself!."

She sat down next to him. "It is an early introductory class. The recruits are 'green' as your people say, only having been in the program for only a few weeks and have not yet even held a denbok. Durhan was still in the history and theory portion of the curriculum. You should have no trouble picking up where he left off." She straightened her back slightly. "He suggested you for the job himself."

"Alright, I know you're pulling my leg now."

Then she smiled. "He said it is time you 'started being of some useful purpose again'."

"Oh very nice, I forgot 'returning from the dead' is not a excuse with you people."

"I happen to agree with him. Since you have arrived you have done little but take walks, sleep and 'mope around' as John says. You act more like a prisoner than a man who's returned to his life. You need something to do."

"I am still recovering Delenn. I'm on so many medications I can't sleep, when I do I have nightmares.. I'm not the person you want teaching anyone. I shoudln't even be around david."

She nodded smirking "My point is, we do not know when Susan will arrive," She didn't say 'if she comes at all', but she didn't need to. "It would be good to put your mind elsewhere until she does."

"I think you forget I also broke the only real rule the Rangers have. I left battle, and most importantly I did NOT die for The One. I'm no role model for the Rangers and I have no place teaching them anything, let alone how to be what I could not."

"With that I do not agree. And neither does Durhan, or he would not have suggested you. We think it is that reason that makes you the perfect candidate. I do not wish to order you-" She regretted her unfortunate phrasing immediately.

"Order? You'd order me?" He said his mood suddenly darkening, he threw his book to the hard floor with a loud slam. "I've been doing what was expected of me for my entire life! When does my life become mine again? How many times do I have to die?" Even as he said the knew it was one of his many new medications talking, but it didn't cool the anger building in him. "I'd like to think my death concluded my service contract, but I'm getting the distinct impression that it's not the case."

"Your life is yours of course," she said carefully and purposefully locking eyes with him to regain some control. "I thought your return was due to a desire to rejoin it. Are you saying you do not wish to be a Ranger anymore?"

He sighed shaking his head trying to clear his head. "I'm not sure. I did what I came to do. The shadows are gone. Clarke is dead. Maybe it's time for me to move on to something else. Anything else, hell, nothing at all. You know, there is this thing called 'retirement' I've heard a lot of good things about. Supposed to be something about a beach and playing bingo in short pants."

She pushed past his ranting. "You were the only student Durhan took that session, yes?"

"Yes, yes," Marcus shook his head acknowledging the fact but was still in denial. "He's the finest bloody denbok master alive for fuckssake, what's he doing teaching a level one class to a bunch of greenhorns?"

Her nose curled up distastefully at his swearing but said nothing, "He felt it was more important the new recruits get a more disciplined introduction than they have been getting from other Sechs in their beginning stages. He will be teaching his advanced apprentices as always from his home." She finally sat at his side. "He regards you as one of the finest he's ever taught, which is why he wants you to take his place. He says you know his teaching style and philosophies as well as anyone."

"Well, yeah. I could quote Durhan chapter and verse. There's a reason I have it memorized. I got it beaten into me the hard way, over and over and over again." He said rubbing his skull "I still have the dents to prove it. But that still doesn't make me the right choice for this after all that's happened. Frankly, I'm surprised they haven't run me off the planet with torches and pitchforks yet."

"Marcus-" she started tersely, he interrupted her.

"Notice I said 'yet'."

"I assure you that will not happen."

"Not as long as you are in charge anyway, which is a little comforting I have to admit." He mumbled looking up at her resignedly. "Alright."

"You will do it?"

"Just until you can find someone else." He said "You're right, I could use something to do till she arrives. I've already read everything in the house."

Delenn smiled nodding and left to make arrangements.

-----------------------

"So. Ivanova T-minus, What? Twelve days?" Franklin said sitting back in his chair at the the human bar he and Marcus met in every evening since the Doctor had arrived. He'd been helping out the new Ranger medical department and filing in the Xenobiological data they needed as more and more rangers entered from outside Earth and Minbar. Stephen was supposed to have left a week ago but upon hearing Ivanova was enroute he announced he was going to stay until she arrived. Also, he had joked, to make sure Marcus survived the encounter.

"Something like that." Marcus mumbled into his beer. "Her ship was already on the way to Humboldt when I called."

"Humbolt Station? Wow, she was far out there. So how did she look?" Stephen pressed.

"I dunno, it was audio only," he said sullenly.

"Ouch. Wouldn't even even see ya huh? After all that happened?"

"To be fair, it was 4am her time." he tried to sound convincing. There was something else going on he couldn't put his finger on.

"Nervous yet?"

"Me? Quaking." he revealed smirking, an uneasy laugh catching in his throat. "I feel as if I've been waiting forever. I know what it feels like to be on mindwipe row now."

"It'll be okay." Stephen aid supportively.

"I hope so." Marcus nodded sullenly, "If I'd known I'd have to face her afterwards I'd never have done it, you know. That's rather the point of the whole selfless act thing - the freedom to be heroic and a coward at the same time. It is rather ironic. She spent all that breath threatening me with some rather imaginative ways to die then once I actually do it for her, she goes all melodramtic and put me in cryo so I can come back and do it all over again? If it wasn't my life I'd buy that book and call it great science fiction."

Stephen was silent a second, as if trying to decide what to say. Finally he just shook his head and leaned forward. "You know, I told her she was nuts when she said she wanted you put in cryo. We all did, she wouldn't listen. She only ever said it was just easier for her to think of you as still being on Babylon 5."

"I still can't get over that. She could barely stand to be around me, though I did felt she protested a bit too much. Not as if I smelled or-" Marcus' words trailed softly away as is attention drift to a young shapely blonde at the bar.

The doctor let out a soft low whistle. "Man, If Kate was even half that pretty, you're officially are insane for coming back, you know." he said appreciatively scanning the lady's form.

Marcus only nodded turning back around, and slouched back in his chair, his eyes clouded in his own thoughts. "You know it's funny, when I was there I'd think about Susan and what happened constantly. If I'd acted sooner, or gotten moving faster, if things had ended differently-"

"You'll drive yourself nuts with that kind of stuff. There was nothing you could have done."

"I know, but my point is... now that I'm here all I can think about is Kate. Everyplace I go I'm reminded of her. I can't help but wonder if I made a mistake coming back."

"It's one you've already made, you can't go back and undo it."

Marcus bit his lip for moment then looked up with a dread certainty, "Actually, I can."

Stephen was about to ask for a clarification but knew his friend would never say, so he wisely changed the subject. "So, I hear you are teaching tomorrow."

Marcus nodded animatedly waking up from the stupor of his dwelling thoughts, "Delenn had the Sech uniform on my bed this morning, I guess that makes it official. To be honest, I think she's just trying to get me out of the house."

"Well, you have been there a month."

"Yes, but I never intended on that, trust me. I thought 5 days, maybe a week. It just spun out of control with her being out of contact so long. I didn't expect to turn into a no-good in-law who out stays their welcome." Marcus muttered.

Stephen nodded. "Well, it's not like you have anywhere else to go."

"I've been working on that actually."

"Oh yeah? Getting a place?"

He smiled obviously not willing to say more.

Stephen got the conversation back on track. "So this class. Think you're up to it?" It was a Doctor question, he obviously didn't and wanted to see if the patient concurred.

"It's only two hours a day, that's it. Beginner class, should be easy. Supposed to be going over Denn'bok theory."

"Uh oh. 'Supposed to' huh?" he said reading between the lines. "Don't push it."

"I don't intend to, I'm fully aware of my new limitations trust me, but theory is dead boring. If they want me to do this, I'm doing it my way. Besides what fun is being a sub if you can't throw the lessons out the window?"

"Oh. This should be interesting." Stephen teased taking a drink.

------------------------

Minbari were never late, but then he was not Minbari and they would learn that soon enough, he thought as he sat his cane against the wall outside the door, took a deep breath, and walked in exactly two minutes late.

He was greeted with the expected chittering of voices that minutes left alone will encourage and immediately had the few rowdies, chatterboxes and authority haters picked out and mentally noted.

With his hands casually in his pockets he strode in the room without a limp. It had been hard to do and now the hip screamed at him asking for some relief as he stood stock straight military stance waiting for all the students to acknowledge him. He let out a impatient sigh and leaned to one side, relieving the weary joint, putting on a large act of waiting for the last few voices to stop talking. They obviously had not noticed the rest of the recruits locked in tense silence around them.

His right hand flew out of his pocket fast as lightening, a startled yelp from the back of the room of a startled student was struck on the back of the head by a red blur. A small red ball bounced off the floor like lightening and back into Marcus' waiting hand as instantly as it left it. His fingers closed around it and slowly his hand lowered.

All eyes, including the chatty wayward recruit, were now all paying attention to the stranger in front of the room.

He wore no Sechs robes, or even a ranger uniform, only a simple set of brown fatigues exactly the same issue as they wore. They had not been given their badges yet, and he wore none either. They didn't quite know what to make of him, that much was obvious.

Only once the room was silent did he start talking. "Now that you've all met my assistant, Mr Bouncy…" he looked around the room at their shellshocked faces and lowered the hand he had caught the ball in. "I'm Marcus. Not Sech Marcus. Not Anlashok Marcus. Not even Mr. Cole. To you I'm just Marcus, and I'm your introductory Den'bok instructor for the next few days. Sech Durhan has taken ill, and asked that I take over this class for a few days."

He looked from face to face, most only just registered any respect with his last sentence. "I can't promise you that I am as good as the master, but I am much better than any of you. Questions?"

One raised his hand very hesitantly, he was a blonde younger man maybe all of 25. Marcus nodded to him.

"Pardon me, but... I believe I've heard your name before in some stories from the senior rangers…"

"Yes?"

"They said you were dead."

"You'd be surprised how often I hear that." He said finally letting a slight smile enter his face. He clapped his hands once loudly and changed the subject. "Alright, boys and girls, if you are anything like I was when I was where you are, you've been sitting here two weeks and you're bored silly and want to do something other than talk about Den'boks." Marcus asked striding out of the room as smoothly as he could manage.

A long moment later he poked his head back in. "Well chop chop! Do you need an invitation?"

They all jumped out of their chairs and followed him like a mother hen walking single file down a dizzying array of hallways and corridors drawing looks from sechs alike. The only sound was the tick tick tick of Marcus' walking stick. Finally they entered a large open gymnasium room. In the center was a metal basket filled with wooden quarterstaffs.

"Being that real Den'boks are rarer than Jolian Beef, these low tech versions will have to suffice. Most of the techniques are the same." He palmed one and tossed it to the ranger who had asked him the question. "Everyone grab one and I'll assign partners."

----------------------

The class had gone well. He'd done little more with them than teach stance and grips this first time, but they were attentive students. After weeks of tedious theory and doctrine they latched on eagerly. He was replacing the last of the staves in the storage basket when a familiar voice reached his ears from the doorway.

"When I heard that Marcus Cole was not only alive, but had come back to teach Den'bok in place of the Great Durhann - well, you'll forgive me for needing to see it with my own eyes." Came the voice of Turval, the Rangers Mediation instructor. He looked even older than he last saw him, yet at the same time ageless. The look of quiet amusement was evident in the older man's face, and with his ever present gleam in his aged eyes, he spoke again. "Now that I have seen it I do not know whether to mourn or rejoice."

Marcus smiled, bowing politely to his former teacher who was once the bane of his existence, but one he highly revered and respected nonetheless. "I'm not sure either." he smiled sheepishly as Turval bowed back in greeting.

The elder Ranger gripped his upper arm, and smiled in an uncharacteristic motion of warmth. "It is good to see you again regardless. Are you well?" the question was phrased carefully as he nodded towards the leg Marcus was favoring when he entered.

He nodded nervously, then shrugged knowing he could hide nothing from the man. "Getting there." He patted his right leg, "Neroon's little contribution didn't take well to the deep freeze. Gives me some trouble time to time."

"Ah, well. All in good time as they say. Keep up your training" Turval nodded looking into the empty room. "How did your first class go?"

"Good. Though I can tell they don't know what to make of me quite yet. I don't exactly think like a Minbari."

"Yes, nor do you dress like one. Which leads me to ask; why are you not in uniform, Anlashok Marcus?" he used the title purposefully.

Marcus looked down. "Turval, I'm not Anlashok anymore, and I wouldn't feel comfortable in the uniform."

"Once Anla'shok, always Anla'shok, Marcus. If you no longer consider yourself to be Anlashok, then why are you here?"

"Delenn. She never saw me in training obviously or she'd know I'm certainly no role model. I wasn't the best student thats for sure."

"Yes, you were a handful, but you tried harder than the rest to became one our finest. You look surprised."

Marcus nodded. "Well, yes, I am a bit. I just always felt I was just following in William's footsteps."

"You were even trained by Durhan himself, correct? And, if I remember, you were the first human to earn that honor." The old minbari smiled wisely. "Your brother couldn't even say that, now could he?"

He shook his head solemnly, "No, but then he never really had the chance."

"And your assignment to Entilzha Delenn... do you think we do such things without first considering if such an esteemed honor is deserved?" The old man smiled. "What makes you think this was not asked with the same consideration?"

"But after all that happened, the rules I broke... the way I left... I never imagined that I would even be allowed back in the building let alone be asked to do this."

The old Minbari laid a hand to Marcus's shoulder, he looked accusingly at his former student. "I fear you do not think enough of yourself, or us, if you believe we would be anything but pleased to see you again, alive and well. Perhaps that is the root of all of this." His look softened with a slight smile, "As I told Delenn after your unfortunate departure, I always felt you joined the Rangers for the wrong reasons. Perhaps now you can rejoin us for the right ones. I, for one, hope that you can and finally become the Ranger we've always believed you to be."


	9. The Arrival

"I can go the rest of the way, thanks," Captain Susan Ivanova said, stopping midstride.

The handsome blonde Ranger carrying her baggage turned around. "But, I was instructed to bring you to the house-" he stuttered.

"And you did, it's just ahead right?" She nodded towards the end of the long walkway ahead of them.

"Yes Ma'am, just around the trees."

"Then it's just a few more meters, I can manage." Susan held out her hand to the ranger. He looked at it a moment then shook it.

She rolled her eyes tiredly, but smiled. "My bag."

"Oh! Of course!" he apologized sheepishly handing her the heavy duffle from his perch on his shoulder. "So sorry Ma'am. Let me just say it was a honor to escort The Voice of the Resistance. Your broadcasts really got my colony through the hard times during Clarke's regime. You're why I joined the Rangers."

She grimaced, strapping the heavy bag on her shoulder, nodding stiffly. This was not the first time she had gotten this type of declaration. "We all did what we could," she said modestly. "Thanks for your help," she mumbled as she hiked it over a shoulder and began to trudge down the sidewalk. The ranger watched after a few seconds and then headed back to the main road the the small pod he'd driven her here in.

The path turned past some trees and only then could see the whole house. It was a large building with steep pitched angles and towering, twisting columns of glass that appeared to burst out of the stucco look of the lower floor walls and yet didn't look wild or abstract. It actually kind of reminded her of a waterfall in the glassy vertical lines and the setting amongst this thick thatch of trees.

A shimmery blue door was straight ahead at the end of the path and she felt her footsteps slow as it loomed closer, her reason for coming now in her mind again. It was right behind that door.

Marcus.

She stopped at the door and just stared at it, attempting to slow the breathing that was catching in her throat. She dropped her bag silently to the ground. An icy panic was growing within her. Her heart pounded, her hands shook. She would have called herself crazy for coming if she hadn't spoken to him herself on the stellarcom. And it was him. It was. She knew that voice as she knew her own thanks to watching all the old stellarcom messages she'd archived. The days after he left she watched them over and over with as much liquor as she could hold down as if looking for clues in his motivations, ones that perhaps she'd been to stupid to see before.

Her pulse began to race, her breathing quickened as a dizzy whirl of memories began to hit her like a wall of bricks. She gulped for air, each heartbeat hard and fast in her chest.

* * *

In her three years now as a starship Captain she had not once even eaten a meal with so much as her most senior officer. She made no friends, tied no bonds. She needed none. She dined alone, usually in her quarters. She kept her distance, from everyone as much as herself.

Her first few months on The Titans had been less than comfortable. Her crew was more than qualified, but the fact that she had been the second most wanted person in Earthdome just a few weeks before was not a fact that escaped anyone's minds. To their credit they never said a word. But looks sometimes say more than words ever would, and being ever so mildly telepathic certainly didn't help her ignore the seething hate and suspicion she knew they held for her when they thought she wasn't looking.

She spent her off time reading or working out till her body ached in hopes that for one night she could sleep peacefully, and perhaps once without memories or nightmares flooding in. But to no avail. Every night for those first six months she woke up screaming. Another dream of the War. Or even worse, of hearing his last words echo in her helpless ears one more time. That was the nightmare she drank to forget. The one that would never go away, even if she wanted it to.

The ship…well the ship was another matter entirely. She had turned her cruiser towards a secretive trip to Babylon 5 to confirm what she suspected. Her battle cruiser was made of Shadowtech. She'd returned to Babylon 5 to get the secret assistance of her friends. They had come up with a rather inventive way of keeping in check. To say the least.

That was the last time she'd seen him... or rather his body. Before they departed back to their rotation she'd made a midnight visit to the medlab with a passcode that still worked, thanks to her stashing it in system years before.

She had carefully ejected his capsule and just stared at him through the thick window of polycarbonate. A light silvery mist of frost clung to the fine hairs on his face and clothes, making him seem almost covered in an ethereal powder. His eyes closed, he was frozen and flawless, as if only sleeping ready to awake at any moment with the kiss of his true love. Oh how she wished it was that easy.

She didn't know how many hours she sat there before she realized she hadn't moved. She stretched. In doing so a gold glint of light caught her eye. Her gold stud earring on his chest. She had pinned it to his uniform in the few moments alone she'd demanded they let her have with his body before they took it to the cryochamber. Silently, she wished maybe this one would find its way home.

It was the last of the pair she'd had. Its mate she had given to her brother right before he left for the Battle of the Line. She told him he would bring it back to her so he'd have to be okay. He was killed in action. For years she had worn the single gold stud in memory of him, now she wore none in memory of another.

She quickly reloaded his unit and left medlab, no one would be the wiser. She pressed a kiss to her fingertips and set it to the end panel where his name was displayed as it retreated into the wall once more. She did not look back.

* * *

Susan Ivanova hugged John Sheridan hard, the tension on her face too much to hide. An unspoken conversation passed between them and Delenn moved in to greet Ivanova hello with another hug.

Marcus watched from a balcony above, tucked out of sight behind a wall. She looked wonderful. Tired, and a bit pale, but wonderful. She looked alive. He felt his heart pounding in his head, and took a deep cleansing breath, closing his eyes trying to regain his composure.

Several minutes of polite travel related chit-chat followed, everyone pointedly avoiding her reason for being here. Then finally, "Are you ready?" Delenn asked.

Marcus was now more than a bit apprehensive being alone with her, it had sounded like a really good idea the other day. Now he wasn't so sure. And neither was she as it turned out.

Her lips opened, then lowered her head shaking it softly, "Not tonight, I just can't. The trip was so exhausting, I need a shower… or something," she began to throw out excuses. "I'm wiped, I just can't, not now…"

Marcus slammed his eyes shut, almost feeling the pain in her voice slicing into his heart.

John scooped his arm around her back. "That's perfectly okay," he said taking her bag with his free hand, "Let's get you settled into your room." He swiftly led her the through the main hallway, past the alcove where Marcus was watching unseen.

He watched them pass, and stepped out into the light to meet Delenn's gaze. He nodded resignedly, and turned his back and entered his bedroom in the upper floor, closing he door silently behind him. He could wait a bit longer. What was one more day after so long?

John had been keen to show her the bathroom and its shower when she first arrived. He had explained it was his one demand for their house while being built. It didn't come out exactly as he would have liked (something about wanting to "peel paint off a 'Chevy'."). She found it quite enjoyable.

Instead of the sparse, high-pressure, water-conserving blast she'd grown accustomed to while in the Force, this was three gentle thin columns of undisturbed, unending water, lit from the ceiling from where it emerged, to look like tubes of shimmering glass. Like so much of Minbari design, it was as much art as function. It felt almost like a soft warm waterfall rushing over her.

It was also in the center of the room, with no curtain or doors, only a stylish drain where they disappeared into the floor.

After the shock of seeing Marcus again, and a day of tiptoeing around him in her room, she'd needed something, anything, to relax her. And it had.

Delenn had paid a visit just before she turned in. Susan took the opportunity to ask some questions no one would answer for her before. "Stephen's given me the medical run down, but you live with him. How is he really?" she asked, offering her a place to sit on the side of the bed.

"He is the Marcus we all remember." Delenn thought a second. "Though, he is not without some new challenges."

"What's wrong with him?"

"Small things. He no longer has the energy he once did. He gets tremors. He limps. Sleeps for days, when he can sleep at all. The nightmares are the worst part for him, I think."

"I know those dreams." she murmured. "What do the doctors say?"

"Stephen is doubtful he will fully regain what he has lost. We know so little of the technology they used to aid his recovery that he fears there is little more we can do. We must embrace the fact that Marcus may never physically recover what happened and help him learn to adapt with what he can do."

"Physically? How about mentally? I know I'm still coming to grips with all that happened - is happening - how is he doing?"

Delenn cautiously rose from the bed's edge. "Each of you has unique difficulties to overcome. And yet you are the same. As you always were. Good night, Susan." She smiled, closing the door behind her.

* * *

She woke feeling reborn -almost- buried in the soft thick mattress with plush pillows and comforters; if not for the two moons still shining in the tall windows she would have been almost convinced she was on Earth. It was still not yet dawn. Damned time difference. She drew the blankets up around her neck and rolled herself tighter into the deep layers, and tried to go back to sleep to no avail.

A soft shuffling outside the door. Someone was in the living room. She didn't have to wonder who. 'Figures he'd be an insomniac', she grumbled to herself attempting to dig her self deeper in to the bed only to realize… she had to use the bathroom. Great.

She pulled on her robe from her bag and crept to the door, and silently opened it. Peering around it she saw a still, dark head silhouetted by a small lamp at his side. He was reading.

Putting a silent foot into the hallway, she froze as his head raised, just a hair. She froze. She'd been made. Susan quickly headed towards the bathroom, closing the door behind her just as silently as she could manage. She pressed her back to the door. And cursed herself.

She was hiding. She never hid, from anyone. She shook her head and did her business at hand. After she was done, she caught her reflection in the darkened mirror. She could do this.

Her cop out on her arrival, after all that happened, was shameful to her. At the time it had been unavoidable, but now she had the chance to fix it. Even if she could never explain it to him.

She hadn't remembered - or rather she had forced herself to forget - about his mental signal until she was faced with it again. Upon walking in the door she could feel him, just as she used to, only this time it was like hitting a brick wall at full speed.

Unlike before, where she found it settled into the soft corners of her attention but not quite invisible, this time it was hard not to feel stifled by it. She was unprepared for it's sudden return. She'd gone so long without it that when she walked in it had invaded her mind so fast and so loud she almost swooned. It was too much too fast. Her heart stopped in panic.

Had it always been so loud? Mental signals like his she found were like a cup of coffee after abstaining for two years. The sudden rush gave you a headache and a bad case of the twitches your first cup or two until you got used to it again. She'd struggled to push it from the foreground of her mind and back into background noise like she used to.

Since the beginning, even with her minimal latency she had always picked up his emotional broadcast. It had taken her a few weeks to notice it but eventually she put two and two together as it grew louder, what it meant, and who it belonged to. Every emotion felt different, and each person varied in tone. Marcus sounded like a distant buzzing, a swarm of bees in a field. The sound almost throbbed in her ears like a heartbeat.

She had to admit it was a one of the nicer ones her extremely limited abilities had ever been able to pick up on. After awhile she found it reassuring, even comforting at times like in the heat of battle, and she found her self focusing on it. He was her own little unconditional cheering section. She remembered how she could always tell when he was on station. Its appearance had always caused her to look up to catch his eyes just as he entered a room; the timing was always uncanny. Their eyes meeting would cause the signal to "heat" up, or increase in her mind. She was never sure if she was reacting to his initial broadcast or if she was reacting to get the "hotter" wave that came from connecting glances with him.

She had tried to stop it, but it was harder to do. All she knew for sure is that she was always aware of it when he was around, it was a kind of sirens' song for someone who had been hurt so much. And, when it was gone she found she noticed; in the early days that had been the hardest part of all this.

She smoothed out her hair tousled from her sleep, gingerly finger-combing it until she spotted a brush in a corner. She whipped it perfunctorily through, smoothing out the waves till they shone in the night's glow. Might as well look presentable – there would be no avoiding him on the way out. Except, he wasn't there.

As she began to pass back by the living area she heard the unmistakable sound of someone softly breathing. She quietly moved to the couch and peered over the back to see Marcus for the first time. He was stretched out on his side, his long lean legs curled slightly, asleep. She sighed, relieved. He'd never seen her, he'd been dozing off when she passed through the first time and had finally decided to give in to sleep.

She watched intently for many minutes as his chest rose and fell rhythmically in his slumber, reassuring her he was indeed alive. When she noticed the chill in the large-windowed room she found herself instrictively striding to a shelf where a folded blanket was stored and slowly unfurled it, laying it over him as gently as she could so as not to disturb him.

Her guilt assuaged, she stood frozen staring at his stilled and silent body once more before her, studying him. His hair was different than she remembered, sable strands fell in front of his pale face that was now pleasantly pink with life, so unlike the last time she'd seen him in his frozen crypt. His beard was trimmed back neatly as usual, only now molded to a goatee which only served to show how much weight he'd lost. Instead of the dark mysterious swashbuckling stranger berobed in folds of flowing fabrics she had grown to know, he was barefoot and dressed in a simple t-shirt and loose pants. He looked so different to her, yet so the same. So fragile.

She had not been gentle enough covering him evidentially as when she began to turn to leave his hand shot out and captured her forearm tightly. Susan gasped out in shock. Marcus' eyes shot wide open. She'd forgotten how green they were.

His tense expression softened as he focused on her leaning above him, and a little relieved smile curled his lips. "Susan." His voice came out cautiously. The buzzing started almost immediately when his eyes opened. She took a deep pushing it further away in her mind so she could breathe as his fingers lessened their grip on her forearm but still he did not let go, his eyes intently searching hers... for something. It took everything she had to speak.

"You looked c-cold," she softly. The skin contact was amplifying her latent connection to him and making it harder to quiet. It surprised her that it wasn't unpleasant or scary to her now, as it had been when she first arrived, it was actually rather soothing.

His eyes finally left hers to follow his hand on her arm as it it began to gently slip down her wrist to cradle her hand in his, giving it a soft squeeze. "I was. Thank you."

Her back though was far from comfortable hovering over him like this so she slowly lowered herself to the floor next to him on the couch. "I'm sorry I didn't see you when I first arrived," she said, then frowned slightly as he removed his hand from hers. With it his mind contact eased in strength. Susan almost instinctively reached out to take his hand again to get it back, but instead she drew her knees up to her body wrapping her arms around them and pulling them close.

He laid his head back on the arm of the couch, laying his hands benignly on his flat stomach and regarded her now at eye level. "It's okay. I understand."

She knew it was a lie, but it was one he was willing to let her have and for right now she was thankful for that. "You look good. I hear you had a hard recovery," she said with a hard pang of guilt. Her recovery was mostly mental and medicinal. The machine had all but healed the injuries that could be cured.

"Mmm," he grunted absently now, staring down the couch at his toes somewhere under the blanket.

"I hear you're doing great though-" she tried to continue the conversation despite his cold sullenness. "This was too soon." She said getting to her knees to leave.

"It's just -" he said causing her to stop. "I just don't like to talk about it, is all," he confessed uncomfortably throwing back the cover and sitting up. "Not right away anyway."

She understood, she didn't like to talk about her side either. She nodded stiffly. "Fair enough."

"Thank you though. It's nice to know that you cared enough to do your homework."

She blushed. She was amazed as how this was going. She had expected more screaming. She expected herself to let loose a curse laden diatribe about what he did was wrong, how he played god not once but twice by coming back, and most of all how dare he leave her with a guilt trip the size of a freighter that left every breath she took seem tainted with his blood but, while all of that was true, the more he talked the less she found she could be angry with him now that he was face to face again. Uncomfortable? Sure. Angry? No. Not at least right now. Time would tell. "We can do this tomorrow. I woke you up. You should go back to sleep, I'm only up and running thanks to the time difference."

"It's okay, It was one of the nicer things I've woken up to in my life."

She found the warm blush invading her cheeks again, just as it used to when ever he paid her such a compliment, "Good night, Marcus."

"Good night, Susan."

Then in what was a surprise to both of them, even to her as she did it, she got to her knees and hugged him as he sat on the couch, her arms gripping his body tightly for just a moment, then she whispered sinisterly in his ear "You ever do that again I'll make sure there's not enough of you left for a third chance. Understood?"

"Not to worry. I don't think I have it in me anymore," he whispered back. She could hear the smile in his voice as he said it. "And, you're welcome."

Susan let go of him avoiding his eyes as she rose to her feet to go back to her room. She closed the door behind her.

"I missed you too," he sighed with a wide smile once he was alone again.

* * *

She entered the living area cautiously the next morning thinking perhaps Marcus was still asleep on the couch.

"He told me he talked to you last night." Delenn observed from her chair by the massive window overlooking a tree lined mountain range.

"A little." She looked around the large room, "Where is he? He finally make it to bed?"

"No. He went out on his morning walk before his class. David was determined to go along. He has grown extremely fond of Marcus. I expect them back any minute."

"Oh, Okay." She was surprised to hear the disappointment in her voice. And ashamed to hear it laced with relief. "Class?"

"Yes, Marcus is filling in for Sech Turval, our esteemed Denbok instructor while he's ill."

The alarm was evident on Susan's face. "Don't worry. He will be fine." Delenn comforted. "It's a beginner class. New recruits, mostly theory and philosphy."

Just then the door opened, Marcus and David were back, grinning ear to ear and hand in hand. In Marcus' other hand was a cane. Susan couldn't help but notice the flush of exertion on his face, as well the slight drag of his right foot behind him as he entered.

He looked up to see her standing staring at him, and smiled nervously. "Morning."

"Welcome back," she said struggling once more turn him down in her head.

Delenn stood up from her chair. "You two look as if you had a good time."

David let go of Marcus' hand and ran into the room. "Marcus took me ALL the way around the lake to see his ship!" he said, hopping animatedly. "It's really cool! It's only the size of Daddy's flyer but it make a jump point! He let me sit in the captain's seat and fire the engines and everything!"

Susan couldn't help but smile. He was every bit of a his father's son talking rapidfire about ships and specs.

"Oh did he now?" Delenn said putting her hands on her hips in mock indignation.

Marcus eyes were still locked with Susans. "Yeah." He stole his glance away to talk to Delenn. "Sorry, I had something I needed to pick up so we ran over to get it. He's a very persuasive little kid."

Delenn sighed. "He takes after his father I am afraid," She smiled proudly, her scolding over and held out her hand to her son. "David, now that your walk is over it's time for your classes."

"I want to play with Marcus!" he flew over and gripped Marcus' arm with both hands and hung off it so he could not be pulled away. The man cringed in pain.

Delenn, raised a hairless eyebrow, leaned over and whispered something in Minbari unto the boy's ear.

He let go quickly, looking sorrowfully up at Marcus. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know you didn't," Marcus smoothed a hand fondly over the boy's dark haired head, but the pain in his eyes did not vanish completely. "You better get moving, Davy. I know that look, you have about 20 seconds before she gets mad." He smiled towards Delenn.

He dejectedly left Marcus, and took his mother's hand. She led him to Susan.

"David this is Susan Ivanova. She is an old friend of your father and I."

"Hello." His big blue eyes looked up at her, "Were you on Babylon 5 too?" he asked with a good bit of amazement.

"Your dad was my boss but," She crouched to eye level, "I ran it."

"WOW!" he cried out and animatedly that "Is it true that true, Mom?"

"Yes, but if your Father says otherwise, don't say anything. Shhh." Delenn laughed and steered the boy to his lessons.

Marcus and Susan stared at each other a second unsure what to say now that they were alone again.

"Sweet kid," she said simply. "First time I've gotten to meet him. Looks just like Sheridan."

"I rather think he takes after Delenn myself," Marcus said fondly watching hims scamper off, then cracked a huge grin "But then to be fair, he hasn't tried to blow anything up yet - so it's anyone's guess at this point."

Susan covering her mouth to silence her laughter. He smiled proudly at having made her laugh.

"Did you get get back to sleep?" Susan asked regaining her composure.

He nodded. "Out like a light, but that's not saying much anymore."

"Listen, I feel I owe you an explanation about when I arrived-"

"Actually, I think I owe you something," He interrupted her standing up, sticking his hand into his pocket searching for something. His eyes lit up showing he'd found whatever he was looking for and carefully extracted it. He extended his open palm to her, in it a tiny spherical gold earring. Susan could feel her heart skid to a stop.

"It is yours, right?"

She could only stare at it, finally working up the ability to nod. "Yes."

"I thought so. Wasn't sure until last night when I saw you weren't wearing one. I figured if it was yours you'd be wanting it back." He placed the tiny object in the palm of her hand. "It's what I ran back to the ship for today," Then he grinned uneasily fingering his own earlobe, "Wore it a few times, it just... never felt right."

She rolled the small gold stud in her fingers, it came back. It had worked. She shook her head and held it back out to him. "No. I want you to keep it."

His eyes searched hers cautiously. "I couldn't-"

She threw up a protective sly smile. "It was luckier for you than it ever was for me anyway." She stuck her hand out insistently at him. "Please. Wear it in good health. Go on."

"Alright." Marcus gingerly took it from her fingers, and immediately put it on. "Still feels weird."

Susan took a stiff breath through her nose and let it out slowly, looking at him with the gold stud in one ear. "Yeah, well it's weird from this side too. Trust me."

"So." Marcus said deftly changing the topic, "I hear you have a rather unorthodox new cruiser with a bit of a personality complex," Now where had that come from? The last thing he wanted to discuss was a ship, even hers.

She nodded, letting out an inadvertent snort, then smiled. "It was a hell of a ride."

"I heard. Sorry, I missed it. Sounded like fun. Good crew?"

"Yeah. I have a XO that is trying my patience, but I think it's Karma catching up with me," she quipped drolly.

A mischievous look lit across his face. "Since when have you ever had any patience?" He aimed a good-natured jab at her.

"Well, a lot has changed since you were here last," she aimed back.

"You dont have to tell me that.

Marcus with an almost indiscernible relived exhale and resettled his right leg carefully. Susan again noticed the way his clothes draped against his now almost skeletal frame. He noticed her stare and ashamedly looked away as she sat on the couch a little distance away, facing him.

He again was unsure what to say, so he restarted the last topic. "Sounds like everyone scattered to the four winds after the wars."

"Pretty much. How much did Delenn tell you?"

"Hard to tell. I think she covered everyone, but, did I hear right? Londo is Emperor?"

"You heard right." She said.

"I'm not sure whether that is comforting or frightening."

"We don't either," she smirked. "Did you hear about Lennier?"

He nodded and, his face growing darker, said quickly. "Mmm. Unfortunate that."

She raised her head and looked at him. "Well, people do stupid things in the name of love." Her gaze wasn't accusatory or mocking, for which he was thankful.

He shook his head no. "Nothing done in the name of love is stupid – foolish perhaps, maybe even desperate - but never stupid." He stared deep into her eyes, and seeing her expression change to one of fear and realizing. He quickly leaning back into the cushions and looking away, his fingers picking nervously at his lips as if to physically screw them shut, instead deciding to change the subject once more. "You haven't been to Minbar before, have you?"

"Never had the chance." she clearly had no idea where this was going.

"That's what I thought. Listen, I have to teach again today, so how about when I'm done I'll come back and pick you up and give you the 20 Credit tour." He asked with more than little nervous trepidation evident in his voice. "I'd like to say I'm famous for my tours, but you'd be my first customer. Who knows maybe I'm even good at it and I find that new career I've been looking for."

Half of her began to panic at the idea of being alone with him for more than 5 minutes, but the other half won the fight easily. "I think I'd like that." 


	10. Loose Ends

Susan mentally ticked of off the directions as she wound the dizzying array of hallways and corridors in the Ranger facility, she finally rounded the final corner and heard the distinct sound of sticks smashing together. A pang in her chest had her running to the door where she stopped seeing Marcus in brown fatigues merely pacing and observing the practice scuffle, he supported weight now on a large wooden staff as the rest of the class sparred in teams around him.

She was next struck by how many races there were. Human, Minbari, Pakmarah, Both Centarui and Narn. Even a Gaim; who, as a whole, were as selfish a people as it got. She had heard the rangers had extended their membership to other worlds, but she had no idea it was this extensive. Marcus stopped a pair and gave some new direction on stance and grips then glanced up to see her standing in the doorway. His face changed to a bemused puzzlement as he quickly excused himself and wound around the students to meet her.

He leaned against the wall next to her. "Starting the tour without me, aye?" he teased, but still clearly curious why she was there.

"Franklin invited me out to lunch before he takes back out tomorrow. Instead of just meeting you back at the house, I got directions since I was already out, and here I am."

"And here you are." He repeated. "I'm glad you came."

A hint of unease slipped across her face. "I hope so, I asked Franklin to do something for me. I thought I probably should tell you about it… since it's about you."

"Okay..." he said cautiously.

"I asked him to move your chamber here from Babylon5." She said flatly.

"What? he began to protest. "I really don't think this is a good idea, Susan. What if-"

"What if is exactly why. Just hear me out, okay?" Susan barked back, then quieted her voice seeing a few students look her way. "You woke up here right?" she whispered stepping in closer.

"Yes, but-" he acknowledged, his voice softer as well.

"You end up here, we know that much. But what if something happens in the mean time? Say someone turns up your chamber on B5 and does a little looking around and finds out that you're in two places at once? What do I say when they come to me to explain that? And they will because my name is on that cryo order. Do I explain the healing device? The Great Machine? Time travel? Do you know what a complete shit storm that would cause? No, we have to protect ourselves, and Drall. And anyway, if it's on Minbar I know..." She looked up into his eyes and felt her voice catch in her throat, "I know you'll be taken care of in the meantime."

He sat his hand on her shoulder moved by her emotion, "Oh Susan."

She then steeled herself with a large intake of air, "I already talked to Delenn on the way over here, she's arranging a place for it to go. I think we all trust the Minbari enough to keep this secret. God knows they've certainly had bigger ones." She wiped the lone tear that had broken free away with a finger tip.

"You're right. Babylon 5 will get decommissioned eventually... it will have to happen regardless. Better safe than sorry. Thank you. See, this is why you're a Captain - identifying problems before they occur." He said trying to lighten her mood

She nodded with a heavy exhale looking now out at the large room of carefully practicing student. "So this is the class of yours I've heard about." Some of them could be seen talking to themselves focuses on their movements, clearly repeating memorized choregraphy.

"Well not mine perse," He turned away and motioned to the students bashing away methodically. "I'm supposed to be teaching them 'Durhan's Guide to Hitting Things with Sticks'."

"And now you're..."

"Not. I decided to just keep the 'Hitting Things with Sticks' part."

"I should have guessed."

"They are taking to it quite well actually." He stepped back, sweeping his arm wide to usher her in. "Wanna have a go?"

"Oh… I don't know," she said uneasily.

"You'll enjoy it, I promise. Come on!"

She hid a smirk at that as she followed him into the room, and when she began to try to fall off to the side to observe, his hand snaked out and cupped her elbow leading her to a pair of men carefully calculating blows. Marcus removed his hand from her elbow and placed it on one of the men's shoulders, stopping him. The men snapped to attention laying their pikes to the ground and did an obedient Minbari salute of forming their thumbs into a triangle at the midsection and bowing briefly at the waist.

"Haskins, this is Captain Susan Ivanova. As you're our best on the form I'd like you to show her some of the basics, if you would. Griggs, why don't you go take over for Kreeschut, it looks like he could use a breather," He said looking towards the Pakmarah who was obviously struggling against his own hulking weight with a more agile human opponent.

"Yessir!" Both men obediently answered. Haskins leaned over and handed Susan his staff from the floor. "Excuse me on moment Ma'am." He said as he went to get another from the bin against the wall.

Marcus was watching Kreeschut from across the room. "Paki's aren't really built for this sort of action... but he wanted to try. Bless his heart." Marcus explained to Susan as She was handed her staff. "I'm told they usually use them for couriers. I say I can see the value in that considering the number of stomachs they have and the contents in them, would you want to go after anything in there?" He shuddered at the thought.

"Marcus, I'm not really sure about this-" she interrupting looking at the large wooden stick in her hands.

"Nonsense. You mentioned to me once that you wanted to learn, now's your chance. Besides, I believe if you're going to break rules you should do it in pairs. It's your lucky day," he said as he took her pike under one arm began removing the grieves that wore on his own forearms for protection. "I won't be needing these anyway, here," he said taking on of her arms and began strapping them on as Haksins returned with a new staff.

Marcus took a second to give her some general instructions in his most professional voice. "Now, Captain, assume a traditional boxing stance, right foot forward, yes. Now, left hand lower on the pommel about there, right hand two fists higher, good," he said moving her hands on the staff as she took body position. "Off you go."

She looked uneasily back as him as he stepped away letting Haskins go to work showing her the basic moves. He moved around slowly pretending to be watching the rest of the class but his eyes were locked on her alone. He remembered as he watched her work that there was a reason he used to lag after her; the view from behind was always quite spectacular, and the rest of her wasn't bad either.

Within minutes she was easily the best stick in class with her years of martial arts practice and natural fighting ability busting down any learning curve. She had knocked her young instructor off his feet after a few minutes study. Susan was helping her sheepish opponent up once more as Marcus called the class to an end.

He approached smiling "Looks like you enjoyed that." God knows he certainly had.

She smiled back, but was a bit winded, "I did. It's a little backwards from Earth style staff combat, bit it's actually easier once you wind your brain around it."

"It's all about speed," He looked over his shoulder at the recruits filing out of the room, then he winked at her and whispered, "Haskins is my best on technique but he also is more than a bit cocky about it. I wanted you to bring him down to size a bit. And you did, thank you."

She nodded. "He telegraphs. I knew where he was going before he did."

"That's fine at this stage, it's the motions they need to learn." He let out a long breath, with a rallying clap on his thigh "Ready for your tour?"

She noticed him leaning heavily on his stick. "You feel up to it? We could do this later."

"Nonsense, just give me five minutes." He returned soon after changing into a dark shirt and black pants and sported his cane again. They walked back out to the main hall, down the large sweeping stairs. Except for the tick-tick-tick of his cane on the polished stone floor they walked in silence.

He suggested before they get something to eat on the way through the building. It would be a long day and the crowded commissary had better food and more variety than most places on Minbar due to having to cater to so many cultures. It wasn't fancy but it was edible. They ate quickly. Marcus talked a little more than building features and shared some details on different aspects of the ranger's training. After a few brief minutes they were up and out.

Upon opening the lobby doors they were inundated with a riot of noise, Susan knew just from the zen-like atmosphere elsewhere on Minbari that something was desperately wrong. Groups of human rangers were gathered around the screens in the lobby animatedly talking, some angrily shouting at the ISN broadcast. Quickly spotting the familiar face of one of his students nearby Marcus told susan to stay put, and ran to ask what was going on just as the reporter on the monitors began to repeat the news story with graphic video.

The San Francisco police had just opened fire on a large crowd of telepaths peacefully protesting once more for equal rights and end of PsiCorp. One protester sent a "peaceful mental image" to the lead officer, who alarmed by this mental invasion ordered his troops to open fire. The following shower of bullets resulted in 117 telepath deaths and more than 240 wounded.

Most of the remaining hundreds of telepaths ran as the first shots rang out, some stayed to defend themselves in the worst way possible - by beginning a crippling mental assault trying to incapacitate the officers in a desperate act of self defense. Some policemen dropped their guns running screaming away holding their heads. It only served to only compound the problem as those remaining psi-attacked officers began firing more bullets into the crowd to stop the mental assault.

A few dozen telepaths escaped and holed up in a nearby office building with a couple hundred normals as hostages. They were demanding to be connected to Earth's President.

Telepaths all over Earth were on the run and slipping into hiding fearing repercussions, or quite the opposite for younger more radical telepaths who were taking to the streets in anger attacking normals out of anger. All over the planet reports were coming in about telepath/normal related violence in response to the massacre in San Francisco. Shit was hitting the fan.

Marcus had heard teep/normal tensions had been escalating towards war about this time, but he had no idea it had gotten this bad. He next wondered if Lyta Alexander was there and if she was alright. He didn't remember reading how she died.

Suddenly the crowd in the lobby spilt apart, and two human rangers were shouting at each other accusingly fighting over who was to blame over the incident.

The Minbari present looked hesitant to interfere in the high emotions of Human homeworld politics, Marcus was closest to a squabbling pair who were now almost hot enough to begin throwing blows. He threw his cane away with a clatter and lunged to grab the loudest one by his shirt knocking him off his feet. It was hard enough to shut the man's mouth.

"E-NOUGH!" Marcus roared, grabbing the second loudest by the shirt as well, they

A few of the graduate human Anlashok saw their cue and quickly began to break up the crowd and shutting off the monitors.

He turned his head to the crowd of recruits and roared in a voice so loud he impressed even himself. "ANLASHOK OUT! Back to your quarters till 0800 hours tomorrow!" he shot burning daggers to drive the rest of the crowd away, then aimed his angry fire to the Minbari standing by doing nothing. In their own language he scolded them for their cowardice with a few lesser known and baser epithets. If the Minbari had eyebrows, they would have raised.

"And you-" He growled at again at the men in his grasp.

The mouthy one snarled, "Damn teeps mindfragging the cops like that, got what they deserved!"

Marcus leaned in a hairsbreath from the man's face, his voice dangerously quiet. "No one asked you," He hissed seeing a handful of elder Sechs scurried out into the nearly empty lobby hearing of the disturbance over the man's shoulder. "And I'd be very careful how much more you say at this point, you're in enough trouble as it is, Anla'shok." he stressed the title pointedly.

"Marcus, what's happened?" Sech Corsenn asked hurriedly The thin, younger Minbari taught the Minbari language courses at the academy. He was tailed by Sech Junok, the teacher of hand to hand combat. Junok immediately, and easily, took over Marcus' increasingly futile attempt to restrain the men as his own strength waned from the effort.

It had become clear to Marcus after a couple days that it was common knowledge amongst the Sech's that Marcus had some distinct disabilities since his return. He assumed Delenn or Turval had quietly informed the other Sechs to keep an eye out for him. Normally he would have been upset at that, but at this moment he just was thankful to be relieved.

Finally the men stopped struggling in the face of being restrained by a superbly Ranger of a far stronger race. They were both young, and looking younger every second they stood under the crumpling gazes of angry Elder instructors.

Marcus breathlessly nodded his thanks to Junok who's expression clearly sadi he did not now what was going on, "News report. Some telepaths on Earth were massacred by police at a peaceful protest. The news got our boys here a bit worked up."

Sech Corsenn nodded perfunctorily to Junok to release the men, and he spoke to them sternly, "You will present yourselves before the Elders in one hour. You are dismissed." He then stepped out of the way for the men to pass to leave. "Marcus, if you have a moment..." he asked motioning him to come closer.

"Of course," he said following them a few feet away.

"Can you explain to me what happened, I am not comfortable with Earth politics."

"Neither am I really but-"Marcus only then noticed that Susan was not where he'd left her. He search the now nearly empty lobby for her. "Susan!" he called out, his voice only echoing in the large glass lobby.

"Marcus?" Junok inquired.

"My guest, the woman I was with, did you see where she went?"

"No, I'm sorry, all I saw was you."

"Damn. Excuse me, I should find her," He began to bolt off, quickly retrieving his cane from the floor and limping out back towards the outside doors but then turned back around, shouting back at Junok, "I will try to come and explain everything later!"

"Whenever you have time, the details can wait. Go find your friend."

* * *

He staggered as fast as he could looking for her outiside and then on a hunch upstairs to Sheridan's and Delenn's offices. He burst past the secretary who now paid him no mind, and entered their office wing. He saw Susan quiet pale sitting next to President Sheridan.

"There you are! I have been looking every where!" he sighed breathelssly, relieved but clearly concerned once he noticed she'd been crying. "Are you okay? You didn't get hurt did you? Susan?" he leaned over to examine her face. She winced avoiding his eyes.

"Everything cool down downstairs?" Sheridan asked.

He tore his eyes away to look to John "Yes. No one's hurt, but two rangers will regret they woke up today after the elders are done with them, mark my words." He heaved, now leaning heavily on his cane. "How long has this been going on?"

"A couple years off and on, it hasn't really gotten this hot until recently. It's usually been scattered uprisings on colony worlds, or or direct attacks at PsiCorp facilities. They've been 'keeping it in the family' I guess you could say until today; the two sides basically attacking the other. Neither, or the Alliance have had a reason to pick sides so we've stayed out of it. I don't know if anyone told you but, uh, Lyta's right in the middle of all this."

"No, I hadn't heard that. I was wondering what she'd gotten into. I'm really not surprised I suppose."

"Yeah. We had pretty bad incident on B5 about two years ago. The telepath liberation leader in the beginning was a real svengali type named Byron. He came to to the station to set up a colony of rouges on the run. I'm no fan of PsiCorp so I gave my blessing when Lochley went ahead and let them stay."

"Who's Lockely?"

"Captain Elizabeth Lochley. Someone I picked to run the station after we left. She's good people. It was innocent enough in the beginning, they stayed to themselves, even cleaned up down there. We turned our heads when rouges and strays started appearing with him because they stayed out of trouble. Then he sucked Lyta in. She went radical when Bester and his people came for them. It was a bloodbath for lack of a better word. Byron ended up setting himself on fire to die a martyr for the cause."

"Mmm, now that I have heard something about..." he said remembering a group of human children singing what he was told by Kate was a "old classic" Earth rhyme about the event that happened soon after his death:

**_"Babylon burned up again,  
no one answered the calla calla.  
Byron roasting in the fire,  
flames fifty metra talla talla."_**

"And it worked, Lyta took his place as the leader, the whole movement really took off after that. Because of her involvement, I've been trying to stay out of it. We had our differences at the end, but I don't want to see her come to any harm, and maybe it's time she had backup. There's not one person who was on B5 during the Shadow War that would be here today without her. She saved our asses. But it's getting too hot not, we have to at least pick a side."

"I don't evny you, it's not a simple issue."

"No it's not. I hate politics Marcus, and I hate this part of it the worst. I could really use the assist on this one, anything you think I should know going in?"

"You want me to tell you the future?" Marcus's hesitation must have been evident on his face, because Sheridan just shook his head in disappointment. "Even if I could on this topic, we're treading on very dangerous ground -"

"Nevermind. I just wanted to know what we were in for, that's all," he spat pulling his business jacket back on and looked at his wrist chron. "I've called a cabinet meeting and put in a conference call to Earth President Luchencko about all this in about five minutes."

"I don't know, I'm sorry!" Marcus apologized trying his best to sound sincere. Kate had said it was depressing chapter in Earth history, and well, he didn't really go out of his way to play catch up. He didn't need any more depression about what had passed after him. He knew the general stuff, but it was still not much more than fuzzy details. "I'd help you if I could. I wasn't exactly 'into' reading a lot of old history books when I woke up."

It was obvious Sheridan did not believe him, his eyes narrowed glaring at him now. "Right, just the Biographies. Well, nice to know I can count on you again," Sheridan said inserting one sharp little dagger into him.

Marcus steeled his gaze and held his ground. "Mr President, in all respect, that's a little unfair!" He protested, but fully appreciating the man's anger. He had a right to be angry, however that was a bit uncalled for.

"I have to go," He spat with finality, then his face softened as squeezed Susan's shoulder and looking down at her fondly, "It'll be okay. I'll take care of everything, I promise. Relax." Sheridan then speedily left the room with decidedly angry foot steps echoing down the hall leaving Susan looking for all the world like a lost little girl, her arms limply laying to her sides.

"That could have gone better," he said trying to lighten the mood, but failed miserably. He noticed then that Susan held a small sheaf of papers on one hand, and a pen in the white knuckled grip of the other. "Why do I get the distinct impression something else is going on here?"

Susan looked sullenly up, her eyes swollen and red with tears threatening to fall, "I just asked Sheridan for political asylum," she dully said without an ounce of life in her voice.

He lowered himself to her side on the couch, his face searching hers. "Asylum, why?" he asked softly, suddenly not liking where this was going.

Her lips were tight as studying his face carefully as she whispered the next words, "Because I'm a telepath," her eyes searched his with a panicked desperation for acceptance.

Air suddenly felt to be in very short supply. He found for the first time in many years he was completely and utterly speechless, both by her confession and in realization the timeline was changing before his eyes. That none of this had happened before. It was all going to hell. Dear god what had he done? If he hadn't come back she'd have not been on Minbar and instead been on her ship right now, probably keeping her secret for years to come as she continued her Earthforce career towards her destiny. Would she still assume the role of Entilzha now? Marcus felt three steps from running away to stop it all from changing any more than it already had.

She was waiting for his response. Finally, he gained use of his tongue again to say the first thing that occurred to him with her admission. "Well. That certainly explains a lot," he said still largely reeling about the changes happening becasue of his return.

Susan's face fell in horror "That explains a lot!" She flew to her feet and thrust her fist against his chest sending his stumbling a bit backwards, and his cane clattering to the floor. "What the hell does that mean!" She roared coming at him with more fists flying, her papers fluttering to the the floor behind her.

Marcus quickly raised his hands to restrain hers in self defense, he surprised himself to see his instincts were still fast enough. He spoke gently as if trying to soothe a wild animal "I just meant... it explains why you always seemed like a tough alley cat who was afraid of it's own shadow. I just never could place what exactly it was you were afraid of."

His words knocked the wind from her sails as the tears now began to savagely flow sinking to her knees in the middle of Sheridan's office, her wails filling the large space even more than her angry screams had. Marcus carefully moved to the floor next to her and pulled her into his arms, comforting her jagged heaving cries with soft words of encouragement as she howled into his chest. He reached out and picked up one of the papers, silently reading it over her heaving back - an application for Alliance Asylum on Minbar. It was already signed by Sheridan. Susan just needed to fill it out. He frowned putting the paper back on the floor, and held her tightly to him once more. Just then he heard a group of footsteps running to the door and stop just behind him.

"Marcus? Everything okay?" It was Sheridan again, the anger was now gone from his voice. He'd obviously heard the racket and come running back with a handful of others from the hall nearby who now stood outside the door.

"She's fine, she's fine..." Marcus shushed rocking her as she continued to gasp out painful tears. Then he looked up to the man towering at his side. "Things have changed, Mister President. We need to talk.

* * *

Marcus left Susan's side with quick promises to return and followed John to the conference room he'd gotten the word Luschencko's call was going to be late. Marcus quickly told what little he knew about the length of the war and the outcome while waiting for the Earth President's office to call. He wished he knew more, but then he didn't know there would be a test afterwards.

It was peace offering, which he immediately shattered when he chastised the statesman for granting Susan's asylum request after all he'd told him of her destiny to ascend to the role of Entilzha after he arrived. How her timeline was irreparably changed now, and the face of thier galaxy was changed forever. Sheridan tensed, but politely listened while Marcus assailed him with charges of irresponsibility.

"You acted on your feelings for her and you came back, timeline be damned; I acted on mine. She's my closest friend, Marcus, and has been off an on for ten years now," Sheridan said cautiously. "So, despite what you might like to believe, I know her a little better than you do. I know how she can get sometimes. Today I saw a woman I didn't know. She was frightened like I've never seen her before. She didn't ask me for asylum; she demanded it. I asked her to take a couple days, to cool down to think it over, she wouldn't have any part of it. She wanted those papers, and she wanted them now."

He straightened his back and stared down Marcus, who's anger has dissipated hearing his reasons. "So I gave her the papers, I humored her. If she actually fills them out, and I'm not convinced she will once she gets a pen in her hand, I am not going put them through immediatly. I want to make sure she's had time to calm down, get her head back on straight and has thought about it and not wake up tommorrow regretting it."

He continued, "I figure she's going to be here at least a week on leave so I'll give her four or so days and see if it's still something she wants. If it is then I'll do as she asks; I'll give her her asylum. It's her choice. It's her life. Destiny or no destiny, Marcus - I'm not going to make her do anything she doesn't want to. And I'll be damned if something happens to her because I was unwilling or unable to help her. Not again. This is one thing I can do, let give her this much."

Marcus stuck out his hand, "I think I owe you an apology, Mr President."

Sheridan shook it resolutely, "No, you just think too much and that's not a bad thing, but I've been in office long enough now that I think I'm just not used people who can do that anymore."

Just then the president's secretary rushed in saying Earth President Luchenko was on the line ready to feed in, and his cabinet had all arrived and were waiting to enter.

"Let them in." He looked back at Marcus, who began to leave.

"One second, Marcus, I can do this too," Sheridan said bringing his wrist chron to his lips and asking his for a escort shuttle to come to the front doors and take Marcus and Ivanova back to the house. He turned it off smiling. "Cool huh? It's been a hard day, go take her home. We can talk later."

"Yes, Mr President. I look forward to it." Marcus smiled back and left walking past a half dozen men of a number of races who looked after him clearly curious about the casual stranger.

"Who was that?" asked a rather short stocky Narn asked watching the man limp down the hall with his cane.

"Possibly our best kept secret," Sheridan mumbled to himself as much as the Narn, he clapped his hands. "Alright, everyone thanks for coming, please take a seat as President Lushencko's running a bit late."

* * *

When he walked back in Sheridan's office the saw Susan at the desk her back towards the door, from her posture could tell she was crying softly. He walked over and lightly rubbed her shoulders, "You okay?" he asked 

"You came back." She dimly stated the obvious, snorting back a tear as if she was trying to hide it. She peered back at him.

"Don't I always?" he beamed his most charmingly back at her. He saw she had gathered up the application paperwork for asylum. It now sat in front of her neatly stacked and completed. After his talk to Sheridan he was moderately surprised she had actually filled it out after all. "Are you sure you don't want to sleep on it a few days before you turn that in?"

She shook her head weakly with a snuffle. "No, I've slept on it for 35 years."

"Then one more night wont hurt. Come on, on your feet," He ordered taking her hand and giving it a pull. "Sheridan's sent for a ranger to shuttle us back to the house. I don't know about you but I've had an pisser of a day and I'm happy for the lift, I feel ready to topple over."

She groaned standing up, he noticed immediately her hand didn't seek to leave his. "I've had better days myself." She looked up into his eyes, and once more looked as if she was fighting off the urge to cry. "Where do I go from here, Marcus?" She asked him, fear and uncertainty clouded her face.

He understood the complexity of her simple question. She had moved from her parents house to an EF officer training school at sixteen and almost two decades of militarized structure and guardianship later this was the first time in her life she was on her own. No one to tell her what to do, no responsibilities, or duties. This would be the hardest part for her to overcome.

Marcus raised his other hand and cupped her face, brushing a tear away with his thumb he looked deeply into her beautiful puffy blue eyes. This was the moment. He leaned in just a bit, but stopped a breath away from her lips. "Anywhere you want... it's all up to you," he whispered.

Susan leant forward, setting her lips to his.

* * *

Reviews make me write more, faster... hint hint...

* * *


	11. Cleansing

Okay not much, but it's been so long since I put a part out I wanted to give you something. The next part will be very interesting.

---------------

Their lips merely brushed a few fleeting nanoseconds before Susan, hearing footsteps approaching, jumped backwards as if Marcus had suddenly erupted into flames. The moment gone, Marcus spun away on his heels and wiped a frustrated hand across his jaw, collecting himself.

"Someone is coming!" she tried to explain to his back. He nodded silently, his hands on his hips as he heard the footsteps grow closer and within moments a young minbari acolyte entered to inform them their ride had arrived.

Marcus clicked into gear and smoothly thanked the young man and motioned towards the hallway. "This way," he said softly as he began to lead her down the maze of corridors and out into the lobby. A small sleek egg shaped vehicle was on the sidewalk just outside the main doors. It was little more than a golf cart on four fat wheels, Minbari style. A driver stood obediently waiting for them.

Once outside the building, any tenseness in her body left as Susan stopped dead in her tracks and stood in awe at the inspiring tapestry of crimson and golden light in the sky.

"Nice isn't it?" Marcus smiled, looking up as well.

"I haven't seen a sunset in ten years..." she breathed. "I'd almost forgotten how pretty they were."

"Well, Minbar is famous for it's sunsets, y'know. Excuse me one moment..." With that he walked to the driver and a short conversation passed between them in hushed Minbari. Finally the two men bowed with crossed hands, then the driver turned and headed back towards the building on foot.

"What was all that about?" Susan Ivanova asked suspiciously, watching the driver walk past her.

"I gave him the night off - said I'd return it in the morning," Marcus said, sliding onto the driver's seat with a barely audible groan. "We don't quite have time for a full tour now but I can show you one little place that's very special." He patted the seat next to his, smiling invitingly. "Hop in."

She stood there. "I don't know Marcus, I'm exhausted." Her arms fell limply at her side. "I'm going to be living here awhile it looks like, we can do this anytime."

"It's worth the trip. I promise. Trust me," he said, softly holding out his hand to her across the small cab. Marcus knew where she was coming from though, he had done far too much strenuous activity today. It had done in his already waning strength, he was feeling it in his very bones, but he wasn't going to miss this opportunity for the world.

"Okay." Susan sighed and slipped in to take her seat next to him. "Just don't push it."

A huge smile entered his face as he put both hands on the steering wheel firmly, "Who me?" He hit the accelerator sending the little vehicle off like a bolt.

"Where are we going? Or am I allowed to know?" Susan asked after the scenery of Yedor began to zoom past.

"As it's your first real evening on Minbar, and you have never seen the sunset," he explained with soft devilish smirk to her. "I happen to know just the perfect place."

"I bet you do." She strained back a smile and lowered her now flushed face and tried to keep the bees at bay while holding on for dear life.

The sky beyond the southern mountains was beginning to change to a golden red cueing the sundown. With it's many silvered towers and reflective walls, sometimes it looked as it the city itself was on fire.

While traveling Marcus played tour guide and intricately explained the many technical and environmental reasons Minbar had such marvelous sunsets for as many as six hours a day; she tried to absorb it all, she did, but all she could concentrate on was trying not to look like she wasn't holding on to the seat for dear life. That, and how much she'd missed the delicate timber of his voice and how it filled in the empty spaces. She, for the moment anyway, regretted ever telling him to shut up.

His audio tour now concluded, the only sound was the the whisper soft hum of the cart as Susan slowly drifted into her own little world watching the exotic scenery flash. Occasionally her ears picked up him softly humming something she couldn't quite pick out. He steered the little vehicle south, skirting in and out of the thick lines of trees that criss-crossed the landscape trying to provide an unobstructed view as much as possible, but the terrain wasn't cooperating.

Soon they were within a dark, densely forested region a half hour out of the city. She finally spoke. "You do know where we're going right? Because we lost the sky you pulled me out here to see," she said, pointing up to to the lofty branches overhead that fully obstructing their view.

"Oh, ye of little faith. Of course I do." he said smartly. "In fact, we're here." He stopped the vehicle along a heavily tree-lined gravel path that cut through a dense woods. It was almost impossible to see with the dimming light.

Marcus slowly climbed out, his weary and exhausted joints creaking at the thought of any sort of walk now, no matter how short it was. He shrugged off the feeling. "Now, milady, if you will follow me this way," he said with a sweeping motion, offering his hand. "It's not far, but watch your step."

Susan took his hand to climb out then released it as they began to walk. Marcus leaned heavily on his cane with the other hand. His legs were stiff now from the ride, but he moved ahead to lead her down the dark and narrow winding tree eclipsed path for several hundred yards all the same.

After more than a few turns, a crimson light began to show through the leaves ahead, with each step growing bolder and more intense until finally they stepped out onto a wide flat cliff over looking a rolling valley thousands of feet below with the city hidden just over the hills beyond. Susan gasped, taking a step back in shock. Marcus protectively placed his hand to the small of her back to keep her from stumbling over a rock.

The sun hovered low on the horizon, setting the sky ablaze in bold swathes of red, gold, and orange, framing the sweeping landscape in full view before her. The colors ebbed and churned as if they were alive. She stepped back out on to the the rocky plataeu on which she stood and looked down in to the valley below. A fiery river ripped through valley floor looking as if the living planet itself was breaking in two and exposing it's hot molten core for all to see. The leaves on all the trees around her were dappled with vermillion and gold and seemed to vibrate with the light. It was as if she had walked into an impressionist painting.

"Marcus..."

"Mm?" he asked

"Wow," she breathed with the proper amount of awe. "This is just...uh... wow."

He nodded proudly. "I said the same thing when I first saw it from here," he smiled looking out again at the view. "I think this is my favorite spot on the whole planet."

They stood several minutes in awe, then seeing him get a little on his shaky feet and leaning into his cane she wrapped her hand around his forearm determinedly and helped him to sit down on the rocky plateau. She plopped swiftly beside him then they sat silently for many minutes, just watching the swirling red beyond. Before too much longer he leaned his body backwards, propping himself up on his elbows lazily and stretching his long thin legs in front of him. He yawned deeply as his exhaustion began to set in.

There wasn't any talking, there wasn't much to say in the presence of such wonder, but it made Susan let out a tense laugh after many long minutes of silence.

He looked at her quizzically, raising one eyebrow. "Share it with the rest of the class?"

"Oh, it's just that... back on B5 I wanted nothing more than for you to go away, and shut up and ever since, I've wanted nothing more than for you to come back. And now that you are ... I have no idea what to say." She wiped a rebel tear from her eye.

"You don't have to say anything," he said his voice soft and low, stammering just slightly.

"Yeah I do." She paused for a few moments then began quietly. "I was ready to die, did you know that? I'd mademy peace and was prepared for what was coming. Then it didn't. And then... looking over to find you beside me," she looked down at her hand and started rubbing it, "and your hand holding mine... realizing what you'd done has has haunted my every living breath since." Her voice was raspy, tears were seeking to fight her resolve. "What you did wasn't fair. You left me with one hell of a guilt trip and your magically appearing again doesn't just erase all that - you know that right?"

"Yes. I know. I'm sorry," he said, pulling himself to sit up to face her with a grunt, but left his bad leg straight to one side of her.

"Don't lie to me, I know you're not sorry." She wasn't angry at him, just stating what she knew as a fact.

"You're right, I'm not. I'd do it again... But hopefully I won't need to." He tried to smile, but his eyes gave another impression, fear. She couldn't be mad at him, no matter how she tried her damnedest. "But we gave each other a second chance, didn't we? I think that says it all."

Susan bit her lip and nodded. "What does that say, exactly?"

"That you prefer a world with me in it, of course," he said cockily. She started to object to the size of his ego when he continued. "And I prefer one with you."

It took all the wind out of her sails. "It's a little more complicated that that-" she began to correct him.

"Doesn't have to be," he said quickly.

"But it is."

"If you say so." Marcus shrugged, not wishing, obviously to discuss it anymore since it went over like a ton of bricks. He turned, hearing something in the horizon. "Rain." He spoke softly absent the defensiveness of a moment ago, it was almost too soft for her too hear. "Coming from the east." He pointed off towards the horizon to their side, she nodded blankly. "You wanna hear something funny?"

"Sure," she nodded, chuckling softly at how he still changed gears so fast.

"Rain makes me a little nervous," he chuckled, trying to belie the real tension he felt about the growing sound. "So if it starts to hit, I'm outta here."

"You're afraid of a little rain?" She challenged.

"Hey, it's water that falls from the sky! If you came from where I did weather is not something you ever run into. You can't exactly control it with a setting or dial."

"Where are you from again?" her brow furrowed. "I'm sorry, I forgot."

"What, "Miss Eidetic Memory" forgot something?" He teased her, referring to one of their last encounters. "I probably never told you. Arissia III colony, we mined Q-40 out on the rim."

"What was that like?" she asked, leaning closer. "Living that far out?"

"It was pretty much like any other mining colony we ever lived over the years. Filthy living platform orbiting a godforsaken rock in the middle of nowhere. Nothing exciting. I think that's why I was always so comfortable on Babylon 5. It was a larger, cleaner version of every home I ever had."

"You did fit in pretty quickly, made yourself right at home." she agreed nodding.

"I'm a third generation Space Rat, we thrive in captivity," he smiled at her sadly. "My first time planetside I couldn't stop gawking at the sky with the feeling it was all a trick somehow and was gonna crush us all. I had a sore neck for a week."

She laughed. "How old were you?"

"I dunno. Twelve, maybe thirteen."

"That was about how old I was when I first got into space," she said thoughtfully. Seeing him wait expectantly for her explanation she went on.

"My father took my brother and I on a vacation to Mars soon after my mother died. I think he was just trying to distract us since we'd been begging him to do it for years and he never did. I remember looking at the stars pass the viewport in our tiny economy cabin and knowing it was what I wanted to do with my life. That was all it took. After that, I collected articles about pilots and ships like most kids collected Hoopball chits." Then her mouth curled into a little smile "I memorized technical specs of every Earth ship for the last fifty years. I was obsessed with the Javellin class battlecruiser from the Dilgar war, man that thing could turn on a dime. I nagged my father to take me to the EF museum in Madrid to see one in person. Anyway, four years later I signed up, Dad tried to act surprised. He never understood what it was I saw in it. Earth was big enough for him. I tried and tried to explain it, I just couldn't get him to see it was what I was born to do."

"I envy you. I'm what... god, almost fourty now? I still don't have a clue about what I was born for," Marcus said.

"Oh come on. What about the Rangers? That seems to be a pretty good fit."

"Hardly. That didn't come easy by any means. Seems I have some teensy problems with taking orders." He smiled at that which caused Susan to laugh. He looked pleased. "I fell into that. I just fell into everything really - mining, force, rangers... Never bothered to think if any of it what it was I wanted. Just what I had to do."

"Y'know, about that," She pointed her finger at him accusingly "I had no idea you had even been in the force until we were closing your ID files. You never once acted like you had any idea of protocol or how the system worked... and foolish me let you off easy too because I thought you were a civvie who didn't know any better."

A wide sly smile broke across his face. "So you were being lenient on me? Who would have thought?" He said teasingly. "Well, obeying protocol never got me anywhere, and it certainly never got me what I needed. I knew what to say so I worked the system a bit."

"I'll say." she shook her head ruefully as a fat raindrop fell on her hand. "Oh oh."

"Bollocks. See, this is why I hate rain!" he grumbled, wiping another large drop from his cheek. "It's always so damned inconvenient. Alright, we're outta here."

"We should head back anyway, nice as this is, it's getting late," She got up, dusted herself off, and then offered a hand once more to him to help him up. "This place needs a bench."

"I'll get right on that," he groaned, getting to his feet. He retrieved his cane, and instinctively took her hand and led her out behind him into the now almost pitch black trees.

-------------------

By they time they got to the edge of the woods the light drops of rain had become a torrential thundershower. The thick canopy of trees didn't provide much protection in such a downpour. They were soaked to the bone. Suddenly they were aware that their small open craft would offer no shelter whatsoever. On top of that, the dirt road they had driven in on was now flooded out.

"We'll never make it to John and Delenn's in this! We can't even see the trail!" Susan shouted just inside the break of trees, pointing towards the road. The water splashed up at them from large puddles from the forest's drip line.

"Right." he huffed tiredly, wiping water from his face. He grabbed her hand and pulled her further back into the tree line. It qualified as modicum of protection, sparing them some of the deluge.

He dipped into his pocket and pulled out a tiny silver control no bigger than a credit chit. He pressed a button and a green light on its corner began to blink slowly.

"Who are you calling?" she said, fruitlessly wringing the water from her long hair as the rain still fell.

"The reserves," he said, noticing the blinking get faster as a few moments ticked by. "Good! It got through."

"Great. I hope they're here soon." she grumbled, crossing her arms for warmth. After a few more moments she saw a wide smile break his face. "What?"

He held up the remote for her to see. The green light was now red. "Soon enough for you?" he said pointing out of break of the woods. She squinted up past the falling water to see a small ship of shining silver, maybe half the size of a Whitestar, silently lowering to land in the small clearing in front of them. It was nearly invisible in the downpour.

"Who the hell is that!" Susan exclaimed as it set down perfectly no more than 20 feet away. She couldn't place the design. It wasn't Earth, it wasn't Minbari, it was simply unlike any ship she'd ever seen before. It looked as it it were cast out of seamless brilliant chrome, it's sloping curved sides and delicate protrusions were almost sculptural and seemed to weave in and out of the body. The rain pouring over the silver surface made it look almost invisible.

"Yeah, about that. Uhm, this was my taxi home; let's just pretend you never saw her okay?" he smiled, pressing another button on the remote. A previously unseen door slowly hinged upwards, and a small ladder began to fold out of the hull.

Susan just nodded almost at a loss for words.

"All aboard that's comin' aboard!" he shouted, swiftly ushering her through the barrage of raindrops to make it up and inside.


	12. Exposure

Susan was frozen in place once inside the door at the sight before her.

The inside was spacious for a ship of it's size and was every bit as elegant and dramatic as the outside with it's sleek curved surfaces, and glimmering railings that seemed to grow out of the very walls. Atop a slightly raised sweeping platform there were two generous pilot chairs behind the ships control panels and a large panoramic window. Just beyond, was where they stood in the obvious "living area" of the ship.

It was obviously appointed for long exploratory hauls. A comfortable chair sat to one side of a wide padded bench that was on mounted on one wall. Next to it a panel was flipped down to act a dining and work surface. She assumed by the looks of some of other many panels and compartments that they might contain kitchen equipment. Even more of the ship appeared be just beyond a small doorway at the back wall.

"Woah. I can see why David was so excited now," Susan noted studying everything in awe as she helplessly dripped. "You swear him to secrecy too?" she asked wiping the water from her face.

Marcus sat his cane near the door and moved steadily, though slower now, towards the rear or the interior setting a tentative hand to the walls to steady himself as he went. He flipped up the table and secured it back to the wall and opened a cabinet nearby. "Gave him some candy to keep his mouth shut. Good thing the boy has a sweet tooth like you wouldn't believe. Here." He tossed her a towel and took another from the cabinet to his face and hair.

Susan followed gratefully sopping the water from her rain drenched locks when she was startled by a disembodied voice.

"Welcome back Marcus, should I prepare for departure?" Came the calm melodic female voice, almost from within from the ship itself. Not seeing any other passengers, Susan realized it came from the ship.

Marcus shook his head. "Sorry, love. We're going to be here for a while yet, but do lock down please to keep that damned rain out," Marcus ordered softly throwing his towel over one shoulder. "And raise internal temp 5 degrees," he said with little chilly shiver. "I hate being cold."

"Locking down," the ship replied obediently as the outer door began to close. "Raising temperature."

"Andra darling, this is Susan," Marcus said to the ceiling. "Susan, this is Andra," he held out his arms wide. Isn't she gorgeous?" Marcus winked at her proudly. "Go on. Say hello. She won't bite, I promise."

"Uh, hello...nice to meet you, Andra?" She said wiping water from her face.

"It is nice to meet you as well, Susan." It obediently replied. "How are you?"

"Wet - but fine," Susan frowned curiously as she leaned to touch a spot of wall next to the door. It was warm to the touch, just like the Whitestars, but the surface seemed to vibrate under her fingers. He eyes widened. "It's not just organic, it's like it's alive."

"She is. She's a bioplasmic hybrid mechasomething or other... I forget the whole name exactly."

"Bioplasmic Mechasynthetic Hybrid Intelligence System." The ship corrected.

"Yes, that. All I know is she's half Minbari, half Vorlon, and half I have no idea."

"You showed this to Sheridan yet? He would just die to get his hands on this." Ivanova asked him looking around again.

"Precisely why I haven't. I can't exactly bribe him with candy, can I? No, she's all mine, and will remain that way." Marcus said patting the wall smugly with a look of such fondness that made Susan almost pang in jealousy. He clapped his hands once, "Okay. Now, to get you out of those wet clothes, and into a dry martini..." He wagged his eyebrows at her. Before Susan could retort he explained with a gawky chuckle, "I always wanted to say that."

He opened a small cabinet door in one wall. Inside was a small stack of neatly folded, clean, dry clothes. "These should do the trick. Help yourself, take anything you want..."

"I'll take the ship, nice of you to offer." She chided him.

"You wish!" He snorted, then he pulled a drawer under the cabinet and stripped out of his wet jacket and dropping it the open compartment then quickly removed his shoes and socks and threw them in as well. "Vibe laundry. Just dump your stuff in there. I'll go change in the back to let you have some privacy," he tossed back the towel over one shoulder and headed off for the entrance to a small hallway that was in the center of the rear wall.

Susan waited to her his footsteps trail off, and quickly set work to getting out of her sopping wet clothes and putting them into the open drawer. After toweling her hair dry a bit more she pulled herself easily into a soft baggy button up shirt and a pair of pants that fit well enough except that they were a bit snug around the hips.

"All clear!" she called through the archway as she took the towel across the floor sop up the puddles they'd made as best she could. Receiving no answer she tried again. "Hey. You okay back there?"

"Fine," he growled defiantly. Then he sighed, "My leg sometimes fights me putting on trousers, that's all." he explained now with less distress in his voice. "This, of course, would be one of those times. Just tired I think."

"Need some help?"

"Not with getting them on, no." he retorted smartly but still obviously struggling with his task. She began to look around while she waited. Not far from her mind though was that he'd always been so fit, always seemed to rebound off his many injuries he'd suffered before. Even when Neroon had almost killed him, it was only a few months before he was nearly back to normal. His new disabilities that Delenn had spoken about the day before and the ones she was seeing today drove a fresh cold knife of guilt into her soul.

It was several minutes more before he finally he appeared in the doorway looking a little flushed from the fight. Her expression caused him to give her a quizzical look as he walked into the room, a wet bundle of clothes in his hands. "What?"

"I guess I just can't get used to seeing you out of uniform," She lied rubbing her arms to ward off the chill on her damp skin. "Guess I better learn, huh?."

"Actually, I was just thinking the same about you earlier." He said dropping the wet remainder of his clothes into the drawer and hit a button on the front to close it, "This thing does the dishes too," he noted as he turned to see her shivering. "One sec, I got just the thing to warm you up." he said turning back through the doorway.

Her interest piqued with that curious statement, she decided to follow him. She slipped in behind him as he entered a little room right off the short corridor beyond the front section and whipped the cover off a bed against the wall of what had to be the tiny main sleeping compartment.

Susan found herself unable to resist teasing him. "You just got those pants on, you know."

He spun around, clearly surprised to her there. She never used to be able to sneak up on him before, and she'd tried to back on Babylon 5 just to see if she could figure out his comings and goings. He'd always somehow get away from her sight long enough to surprise her by swooping out from behind to greet her seemingly from nowhere with the most obnoxious grin and ask her if she needed any help finding what she was looking for. It always humiliated her enough to get caught stalking him to cause her to stomp off without another word.

"Very funny," He cracked his initial alarm retreating easily. He folded the blanket in half and cautiously reached around to drape the blanket gently around her shoulders, his green eyes intently locked with hers looking for any sign his actions were unwelcome. He used to look at her like that all the time when he was subtly, or not so subtly, trying hit on her. She had missed that look, it had always caused her heart to skip a beat. Today was no different.

"That better?" he asked.

"Mm hmm. M-m-much," she stammered finding herself absorbed in his green eyes and swimming his warm buzz once more. His hands closed over the edge and pulled the blanket closed across her chest and surely enough the cold began to fade; she wasn't so sure if it was due to the blanket. There was something she wanted, no needed, to know for sure.

"Mar-Marcus" she stammered his name, still uneasy actually saying it. "You haven't said a word since I told you today, about my being a telepath. Does it bother you?"

The corner of his mouth curled up just a bit sadly as he studied her face and reached up to brush away a piece of hair from her eye. "Now why in the world would that bother me?"

She closed her eyes, feeling close to tears, "That maybe I'm not who you thought I was, that I've lived a lie my entire life."

"Nonsense," he cut her off sternly, frowning at her. He lowered his head to force her to look at him. "Everyone lives some kind of lie, Susan. Don't you go thinking they don't. Now, it's quite a bombshell, I'll give you that, but honestly your being a P-1 is hardly anything to be bothered about," he replied smoothly, then broke a wide smile. "I mean come on, if you could have fried my brain you would have done it along time ago. I figure you must be relatively harmless. Right?"

"Harmless?"

"I did say 'relatively'." he said softly. "You're welcome to prove me wrong."

Her eyes probed his intently, and his did not waiver as he reached out a hands and cupped her face gently and raising it to look at him as he leaned in to kiss her lips. His fingers trembled as they opened with ease for him. She threw aside the blanket and pinned him to a wall as the kiss grew from a tender expression of long denied desire to a fiery display of wanton desperation and lust. Hands pulled at clothes to reach the skin underneath.

"Susan..." The soft way he said her name made her again shudder to a stop as he moved into slow deliberate kisses to the side of her neck to slow her, "This isn't what... I want more than just this," he whispered, his breath hot and ragged on her skin.

"Right now I don't," She growled setting her hands to his face and kissed him ravenously once more. Needing no further permission his hands again worked undoing her shirt buttons intently studying her face as he did so. He took a short hesitant breath and his lips parted just a bit to speak.

"Shhh... Don't." she whispered putting her finger over his lips, stopping them. She didn't need to hear the words he was about to say, she didn't want or need them at this moment. It was too soon. She slipped her over the edge of the waistband of his pants and gave them a playful tug, "Do you need any help getting OUT of these?" she asked suggestively.

"If you don't mind," He whispered with a smile as he laid a series of soft kisses to her face and lips again.

* * *

Marcus felt a heavy weight on his belly and opened his eyes to see Susan Ivanova laying across his abdomen, watching him. "Good morning - is it... morning?" he yawned pushing a lock of tousled hair hair out of her eye and let his fingers caress her cheek. 

"Not quite," she said with a odd little smile that said something was awry.

"What?" He inquired following the strand of hair affectionately down her bare arm. "What?" He asked again nervously.

Her smile grew, just a bit and she lowered her eyes biting her lip. "Who was she?"

"Who was who?" he asked carefully.

She rolled her eyes "Oh come on," The panic must have showed on his face, because she's laid her hand on his and bit her lip hiding a smile. "It's been a while for me and all, but...obviously not for you. That was no virginal effort."

"Susan, really!" he said really not wanting to engage in this line of conversation, he started to pull away.

"Was I complaining?" She planted a hand to his chest making it clear he was staying put. Her eyes sparkled at him mischievously. "Either that..." She started again; softer, more suggestive and humoring. "Or you've been practicing alone a lot."

She had him. He rubbed at his forehead uncomfortably... He wasn't sure which scenario he was more embarrassed by. "I never lied to you, not about that."

"I never said you did... Was she from before, I mean-" her brow furrowed causing a cute little wrinkle on the bridge of her nose. She wan't angry, that much was clear, he knew what that looked like. He saw now was someone who was just trying to cope with all that'd happened.

"When I woke up? Yes." he said with a resigned sigh. He knew discouraging her line of questioning would only make things worse, but it didn't mean he wanted to discuss it with her either.

She nodded looking a little hurt tinged with hint jealously. "With all the things you said before... she must have been very special."

"She was-" he started, smoothing his hand down her bare arm. "A wonderful friend." He blew a hard breath out between his clenched teeth, but felt the need to offer some background. "I was in a very dark place when I woke up..." He rubbed at his face, "Actually, if you must know, I was a piss-drunk old sod no one could stand to be around," he stated brutally. "Kate a ranger, she took one look at me and thought she saw someone worth saving. I became kind of her pet project after that." He chuckled bitterly deep in thought. "She pulled me out of that dark place and back into the light. I owe her everything."

"She loved you," Susan said without an ounce of doubt. " Didn't she?"

His eyes drifted to the ceiling to search for the words, he twice began to start before stopping himself then finally lolled his head to one side. "It was... complicated." Marcus grimaced uneasily. "We never made any pretenses that it was anything other than... whatever the hell it was." He chuckled nervously. "I was too busy living in the past... She said she had a fiancee back home, though I was never truly convinced of that but, yeah... I think she did."

"And you loved her." Again she said it as more of a statement than a question. He couldn't help but notice how her body stiffened just a bit against him.

He was still formulating the words in his mind, how the hell did he explain it? He felt something akin to Odysseus trying to explain his astounding and sometimes salacious journeys to his long faithful wife.

"Not enough to stay." He said finally cradling her cheek once more. He brushed a lone tear away with his thumb. "As much as I miss her, and as wonderful as she was - she wasn't Susan Ivanova. And she never could be." He looked down at her with such emotion Susan felt herself at a loss for air. "That wasn't wasn't her fault and it something time could fix. She knew that," he smoothed his hand down her bare back and softly explained the whole story of his return and how it was masterminded by his former lover, a woman who loved him enough to let him go.

"What if this doesn't work?" She asked, her eyes fearful. "I couldn't forgive myself knowing you gave up-"

"Then it doesn't." he cut her off with a finger to her lips. "This was my choice. No matter what happened, or doesn't happen, between us, I belong here. This is my time and I'm not going to go running back through a rift everytime I make a bet and lose. It was a one way trip. I'm here for good." Then, he raised her chin and made her look him in the eye. "You got that?"

She shook her head, and tried to smile.

"Good," he said with some finality letting his head fall heavily back onto the pillow. Mostly, he was just relieved to have the topic over. She scooted up to lay her head on his chest and they laid there entwined in heavy silence for many minutes when Marcus raised his head listening for something.

"What?" she asked looking around. "You hear something?" She wasn't used to the almost imperceptible noises of the ships many systems as he now was.

"Stay here," He ordered softly, carefully extricating himself and stood up. Listening carefully, he cocked his head. "Andra, when were you planning on telling me what's going on?" He asked as quickly began to put his pants back on.

"You were occupied." the ship retorted blandly.

"I'm not now. Tell me!" He snapped, his temper was frayed at points with this ships personality. He craned his neck to look down the hall out the main viewing window. He didn't see anything, it was still pouring outside.

"Four armed humanoids 30 meters off port side. Assault vehicles 2 clicks east with a direct trajectrory. Three ships approaching fast from the Northeast at low altitude. Shields and cloaking activated, weapons systems powering up to engage." Andra said quite politely.

Susan sat up, whipping back the sheet, "Weapons? What the hell!" She began to scramble to get dressed.

Marcus was talking to the ship. "We've had this talk! You're no longer a Raider vessel, it's not shoot first anymore! Disengage weapons!" The ship repeated his disengage order, and Marcus sighed in relief. He spun back and pointed at Susan who was now out of bed and grabbing her clothes from the floor "I said stay there!"

"I'm not going to be drug out of here naked!" She hissed at him while pulling on her shirt. "Who the hell is out there anyway?"

Overwhelmed, Marcus threw out both his arms in finality. "They probably and tracked the cart here looking for us when we didn't return last night, found the ship and called out the troops. They have no idea who we are. Once they know it's just us this will be over! So you-" He pointed to Susan, "please, just stay here. This is the safest part of the ship. And you-" The pointed upwards at the tiny monitor camera, "Don't do another goddamn thing!"


	13. The Past Also Rises

Earlier that day:

Meeting with Marcus for the first time had sent her stomach on flip flops. She saw him, felt him, talked to him... but her brain was still having trouble comprehending he was here. When he left for his class Susan managed to rustle up something resembling breakfast, in that it was remarkably oatmeal like, to help her settle her topsy turvy stomach. Then she departed on a meandering walk to get her bearings with Tuzanor, and with her... unique situation.

Before long she found herself asking for directions to the Ranger lab where Franklin has been helping out since arriving for Marcus' return.

"I have to say I appreciate you coming over for a surprise visit, but I didn't expect the first time I'd see you in three years to end up with you asking for a blood test." Dr Stephen Franklin observed inserting a vial of her blood into the Minbari lab computer.

"What can I say, I couldn't wait. Any excuse to see ya, you big lug," she smiled rolling down her sleeve.

He nodded looking away from the machine, unconvinced."And... you still haven't said. What am I testing for exactly?"

"Uh, 'everything'?" she tried to smile nervously.

"This isn't Star Trek, Captain," he stressed her title with suspicious aire, "I need to tell these Minbari units what to test for as far as Humans go."

She began to squirm, biting her lip and wrenching her hands trying to come up with something to say without saying anything.

"Susan?" he pressed her now looking concerned, his hand moving over hers. After his compassion in the medlab, she found it impossible to keep anything from him since he knew so much.

"Couple years ago..." She found herself trying to pull on a cocky smirk and try to diminish the shame she was about to cop on. "I did what I always seem to do when life screws me over; drown my sorrow in alcohol and a series of poor choices... in companions... yeah."

That was putting it mildly. Whenever her ship, The Titans, had a few days layover for supplies or repairs at a station she'd prowl the local bars, get liquored up enough to not see straight, unbutton her blouse far too low and pounce on the first man that had dark hair, beard, green eyes, big feet, accent, or any other attribute that in her alcohol-induced state reminded her of him. If she laid back and pretended; she could almost make it real in her head. Make him real. Give him what they both had wanted but were both too cowardly to make a move. He was the one with her - and she was with him - if she only pretended. Just a little.

Then she'd started getting sloppy, doing it more frequently and brazenly. About eighteen months ago she was spotted leaving a seedy dive with her third conquest of the week. Word had slithered out amongst some her crew; the captain was a whore. It wasn't as if they needed another reason to dislike her. Shamed at her own behavior in the light of day she stopped leaving the ship altogether on layovers. She stopped socializing, even with her crew. She tried to stop drinking but she figured two out of three was better than nothing. Then the call came and the bleary haze she'd been under at the time began to lift and the true ramifications of her deeds and the desolate hole she'd dug started to come back to her.

The Doctor closed his eyes and sighed then typed in commands for a full STD work up. He shook his head. "I have to admit I'm a little surprised, but I suppose it's to be expected after -" he was cut off.

"Don't try to excuse it, Stephen, I'm not. It wasn't like I didn't know what I was doing. I did... I just didn't care. Self loathing and vodka are a bad combination."

"Do I even need to ask why you are concerned about this all of a sudden?" he tried to lighten the mood by teasing her gently.

She stiffened. "It's not what you think. It's just... time to put it all behind me and move on, y'know?" That was partially the truth. She couldn't say the rest out loud now that it was possibly in jeopardy. She couldn't say that the one thing she regretted the most in her life was in danger of being cruelly yanked away again, like a mouse in front of a hungry cat, before she had a chance to undo her past mistakes. That she owed them both the chance of a happy ending. That she'd hate to break his heart again by having him watch her die by her own carelessness twice.

The scant minutes waiting for the results were excruciating as her embarrassment, and anger, at her predicament grew. It wasn't as if any of the men was all that good anyway; okay maybe one or two but she'd have been hard pressed to remember a single one of their names or faces if her life depended on it.

There was a beep that jarred her back into the present. Franklin took a brief cursory look at the computer tablet in his hand. "Good news is you're clean as a whistle." He announced nonchalantly scrolling down the screen.

She let out a huge sigh of relief. "Oh thank god."

"Bad news though; your blood cell levels look to be as low as after the transfer."

The relief she felt, faded away. "What does that mean?"

They learned within hours that her resurrection had come with some side effects. After recovery she suddenly suffered from something called Myelosuppression. Previously it was contracted after damaging and primitive radiation treatments for cancer up until medical advancements a hundred years ago. Hardly anyone in this century got it anymore.

As the machine itself was a mystery no one really felt they had to look all that far to guess how it happened. Stephen could only say that no one knew what to expect from such an intensive process. Garibaldi's exposure had been minimal but the damage to Ivanova from the accident was more severe and the energy transferral so complete he would have been more surprised had she not had any side effects. After all, as the Doctor had reminded her, the machine was never meant for Humans so it's real effects after such an intense exposure were unknown.

"It depends. Any infections that don't seem to clear up? Any headaches, weakness, lethargy, cuts that don't clot?"

"Not really... not in a while anyway," she said simply, but wasn't comfortable saying so. "Just seem to be tired more than anything."

"Captain," he said being sure to stress her title, "We went over this after the transfer. Myelosuppression is completely cureable, it just takes some time. Are you still taking the meds I prescribed?"

"After they ran out? Uh no. I didn't exactly know how to explain to the ship's med staff why I needed them all of a sudden, and we were too far out to exactly get refills. I have been taking some iron and immune supplements though."

"It's not enough." He frowned at her self-medicating. "I have stellarcom, you know. You could have just called and I'd have tagged a script to your medfile."

"It makes sense when you say it, sure." she hrumphed. Even though she understood him chewing her out, and rightly so, all she was thinking was that her tests were clear. And so was her future. In the bad of her mind she swore she felt something she'd not felt in years - hope.

"And... I'll just do that now..." he said pursing his lips as he typed for a few moments. "Done. Think you can manage to take the meds without me nagging you or siccing your ship physician on you?"

"Yes, Doctor." She nodded.

"Good Girl. And knowing your history of keeping in touch I put in a required mandatory exam every six months, just so you can't squirm out of it."

"Stephen!" She tried to protest but he wouldn't have any of it.

"You can come see me if you want, but it has to be done - I mean it. You've lost your veto rights. And just so you know, I'll be checking up on you. This is nothing to play around with, you could die from the effects of a drastically lowered immune system. If you had stayed on your meds this would have all been over by now. We don't want this to develop into a problem that can't be fixed. Am I clear?"

"Alright." She nodded properly shamed. "You're right, you're right." She had no defense. "What's that?" she asked as he prepped an injection.

She dubiously eyed the gold liquid in the chamber.

"Just a little something to kick start your immune system back into gear until your meds get to the right levels." he said laying it to her arm. She flinched as the needles bit into her skin.

He sat aside the injector looked at the pad again. "And how's the depression? Still the same meds and dosage?"

"Yeah. It hasn't been too bad until all this happened. I think it's just nerves and stress. I was thankful I had a private cabin the whole way here, let me tell you. Gave me lots of room to pace and throw things."

"Well you can safely bump it up another fifty if you need a little extra help."

She nodded understanding, but not liking taking a step back. "If I need to, sure." she said to herself more than him.

"Good. Now that that's over." He removed his lab coat. "The Doctor has left the office, scolding time is over."

"About time." Susan grumbled smiling. "I hate that guy." she snarked.

"Well he has nothing good to say about you either." He teased, hopping up next to her on the table and smiling as he bumped her shoulder with his own playfully. "So... uhm... you arrived last night." he wagged his eyebrows. "Have you talked to him yet?"

She cringed and without realizing she was doing it, she blushed. "Just for a few minutes this morning before he left for his class. He looks good." She chose her next words carefully. "Is he good?"

Franklin's head dropped, and his voice lowered. "Susan, I won't lie to you. I don't know what the hell they did, or how they did it, but Marcus is in remarkable shape for what he's been through. His stamina is still relatively low, that's almost to be expected I think. His only real problem is a leftover knee injury from that damned fight with Neroon and I think I'll be able deal with that one soon enough if I can talk him into the joint replacement he needs. But frankly - he could live 80 more years or drop dead tomorrow, we just don't know -- but I do have a feeling that we'll be suffering his jokes for a long time and for some damned reason that makes me sleep better."

She nodded, chewing over his words in her head. The real purpose of her visit loomed large in thoughts once again. "There's something else I need to talk to you about."

"After your previous little announcement I don't know that I can handle any more on an empty stomach. How about we do it over lunch?"


	14. Returning Home

Late night, that evening:

Sheridan wiped the pouring rain from his eyes as the nearly invisible door began to open on the silvery ship. "Stand ready! Fire only on my order!" he barked, eyes focused on the warm golden light that poured out into the thundering rain from the open doorway. He looked to the Rangers around him. They were not the least distracted by the curtains of water pouring over them, focused only on their target.

After what seemed like an eternity a long, lean hand peeked from the side and wiggled it's fingers in greeting. Sheridan found himself raising his head in curiosity. "What the-?"

"Shak'ti Duv! Shak'ti Duv!" It called out in flawless Minbari for them to stand down.

John Sheridan cursed dropping his gun to his side, he knew that voice all too well. "Goddamn it! Stand down, Stand down!" He repeatedly back in english into his link to the approaching forces. The rangers with him relaxed and lowered their weapons. "Return to base, situation clear. Repeat, return to base." he called out over the link with more than a little disappointment in his voice. "Marcus!"

Marcus Cole's whole form now stepped out, eclipsed by the light behind him. "Uh. Hi guys." he called out waving weakly to the rangers who were being pounded by rain. They squinted up at him and waved perfunctorily back.

Sheridan raised his eyes to the silhouetted form in the lit doorway and moved swiftly towards it. "What the hell are you doing out here?!" Sheridan asked exasperated, shouting over the rain as it poured down his face.

"We got caught by the weather so I called my ship over for some shelter. We were going to bring the wheeler back in the morning anyway!" Marcus called down to him.

"Why in the morning!? Can't that ship hold a wheeler?"

"How about I give you guys a lift back?" Marcus shouted back changing the topic.

Sheridan's face, obscured by rain and darkness, lit up at the prospect. "That would be super." He said as Marcus triggered the stairs to descend from the seamless body.

Sheridan waved the few ground troops with him over and they climbed swiftly into the warm lighted dry haven of the ship. Without the rain pounding them it seemed tomb-like quiet in the ship and even a whisper sounded loud as President Sheridan immediately called back to the command center to get everything worked out with the arrival. For good measure, he ordered the surveillance cameras disabled for the drop off.

"So I guess I finally know how you got here." John mumbled under his breath taking a long look around the ship. Marcus had always nimbly changed the subject when they had asked how he made the journey.

Sheridan turned to the rangers, who were doing thier level best to not look like gawking fools, and quickly put on his best presidential voice, "You guys you never saw this, understood?" They nodded silently.

Marcus closed the door. "I was just trying to keep from answering more questions, that's all. There were too many was it were."

Sheridan took a towel from a set of offering hands. It was then his eyes finally settled on a damp Susan Ivanova wearing someone else's clothes. He shot her a million watt grin. "Dare I ask?" he mumbled softly to her as he ran the towel over his wet hair. He caught Ivanova's deadly glare. "Didn't think so," he mumbled and looked over to Marcus. "Fire up the engines already. What kind of speed are we talking about for this thing?"

Marcus grinned back at his enthusiasm. "I'm sorry, but You'll just have to keep wondering, Mr President, this is purely Taxi service."

Sheridan scowled. "After living in my house for a month and keeping this a secret? No no no. You owe me more than that, pal."

"Alright, alright. One orbit." Marcus groaned acquiescing a little too easily.

"Two. And I get the stick on one." Sheridan slipped by him towards the front control chairs.

"Don't push it, Mr. President." Marcus said using his title again in front of Sheridan's underlings. They'd been on nothing but a first name basis for weeks now.

"Shotgun. I got stick on repeat." Susan called dryly as she vaulted easily into the co-pilot seat. Marcus snapped his head to her in shock. She looked to Sheridan then back at him with a catlike smirk. "What? I called it first. Snooze and lose."

* * *

Her time on the stick over. Susan now sat on the back bench watching the show. The rangers had been dropped off at the compound long ago and now John was hard at work trying Marcus' patience. She had to admit after suffering the reverse seeing Marcus flustered was pretty damn funny. They had only known each other slightly on B5, but now she also notice how far the men's friendship had progressed since living in the same house.

"John pull back on the-" Marcus hovered over Sheridan who was unmoved by his companion's fussing and fretting.

"Marcus I've been flying for twenty - woo!" He hooted as the thrusters fired and bucked the starboard side of the ship upwards. "This thing has amazing tracking."

"That's what I was trying to tell you..." The former ranger began a long diatribe about the diametric something or other, Susan began to stop paying attention to what he was saying exactly. Instead all she heard was the timber of his voice, the nervous agitation she had never heard before that somehow made her smile as the two were acting like a couple of squabbling old ladies.

Mostly though her eyes moved over Marcus' lithe form as he hovered over Sheridan's shoulder. She found herself dwelling on the way his hair fell in front of his face when he leaned over and how only an hour before she had kept stroking that hair out of the way so she could see those same eyes.

It was then that Marcus shot her a small smile over his shoulder that said 'I'm not ignoring you' and a few other things that caused a blush face from her warm cheeks to race down to her toes -- she quickly looked away.

"Andra, would you please keep a eye on what he's doing so he won't put us in the ground!" he called overhead turning away. "And for godssake John, pull back on the speed man, we are not in hurry to go anywhere." he shot towards Sheridan with a smirk then turned and with three or four rather swift steps without his cane he passed by her going into the back hall. Intrigued by his unaided retreat into the rear, she followed.

As soon as she turned the corner after the doorway his unseen hands clasped her face and his mouth descended on hers hungrily, kissing her so deeply that her toes curled. Any other man would have been in extreme pain 2 seconds ago for the audacity, but with him it was as if she was almost powerless now. It was as if his mere presence now crumbled her defenses. She had been so afraid of this, but wasn't sure why. Especially when he smelled so damn good.

He pulled ever so slightly away with a little smirk that said he was entirely too proud of himself. She found herself gasping for air when she went to speak. "I'll get you for that." She whispered here eyes fluttering half open, a hint of her "Mighty Ivanova" voice. Her sultry smile wasn't selling it though.

A large smile grew across his face and her heart skipped a beat. She'd forgotten how wonderful his smile was, and how she'd missed it. "God I hope so, just tell me when and where." he whispered stroking her cheek. "Co-piloting my own ship with 'Boom Boom' out there isn't exactly what I wanted to be doing after - well... just after."

"It's okay." She said running her hand down his back and slapped his ass playfully. "Get back out there before he crashes us into a mountain or commandeers it for Starship One."

Marcus' face contorted in surprise. Then seriously asked. "He can do that?"

"Well, he might if you leave him alone too long..."

* * *

The rain had finally slowed, and now several hours later the ship settled to the ground at the end of the path leading to the Sheridan's house without so much as bump. The door opened and the stairs silently descended. Marcus ordered Andra to lock up behind him, and the trio proceeded into still quiet of the night towards the door.

It opened to silence. Delen, Turkell and David were all sound asleep and would be for a few more hours.

"Well kids, that was fun, but I'm going to bed before I end up divorced again." Sheridan grunted heading down the hall with a casual wave. "See you both in the morning."

"Night John, sorry for all the excitement." Marcus called after.

Sheridan gave them a weary curmudgeonly grunt and wave as he closed the door behind him.

"Think he's mad?" Marcus winced looking over at Susan.

"After that joyride? Hardly. You might even get a thank you card." She said dryly making a beeline for the bathroom.

After she left he sighed wearily and let his back slouch, his head droop, and his cane fall from his fingers and clatter to the floor. All evening he'd been fighting showing her the true level of his fatigue, and he was paying for it. His entire body felt as if it was filled with sand, his limbs screamed at him in pain, his joints throbbed. Finally, he drug his foot down the two stairs into the livingroom and the four more excruciating steps to finally fall exhaustedly collapsed onto the couch with a groan that made him feel as old as Methulsela himself, which if you got technical was actually true.

He strained with the bit of his energy to stretch out his long legs out across the cushions and off his shoes and laid his head back on the couch listening to Susan puttering around in the bathroom. In two long sighs he was fading out as the last of his energy waned.

He hazily stared up at the metallic mobile Delenn had hung there. He hadn't noticed it until now. It was quite lovely, and typically Minbari - long slender curved crystalline arms supporting almost insubstantial discs of silver that cast soft circles of light across the room from the one solitary light source, the one Susan had turned on.

A mobile depended on it's precisely balanced parts to provide equilibrium. Remove just one and their delicate stability is disrupted and becomes a tangled mess. He watched them slowly spin in the soft overhead breeze wondering which piece in particular he was as the room stilled around him. His jaw slacked as his eyes slowly closed.

"You look like hell," Susan voice came dryly. His eyes snapped open to find her glowering over him. She'd showered and her damp hair glittered in the moonlight pouring in the dark windows. He smiled dreamily, harkening back to how beautiful she had looked in the woods soaked to the bone by the rain, that image in his mind his eyes began to flutter closed again.

"Are you okay?" she asked slowly.

"Mmhrmm." He mumbled halfheartedly. "Ma jis... fine."

"Marcus." she gave his bare foot a slap. "You're awfully pale." her warm hands caressed his cool cheek, her voice was guarded, tinged with fear.

He grimaced at the tone of her voice. He clapped a hand over her and removed it from his face, holding it in his. "I just pushed it too far today, that's all. Once I stopped moving it all hit at once." he said exhaustedly. He kissed her fingers and released her.

"Well then, I'm taking you to bed." She announced, determinedly. "Come on, on your feet."

His smile now went wide. "Ooh. You naughty girl, as much as I -"

One eyebrow raised sternly.

He knew that meant he was getting nowhere so he rolled to sit up, an inadvertent groan issuing forth. "Okay, Okay...you win." He held out a arm for support.

Non was offered. She was staring at his extended hand, her eyes wide. He was now shaking hard with tremors.

After a couple seconds of tense silence he spoke up gently. "Susan. It happens. I'm just tired." Marcus said softly trying to steal her eyes from his affliction. "That's all." A mischievous smile spread across this weary face. "After I get some rest we can try that that kinky little thing you wanted to try before..." he teased her with a fictional jab.

"This is funny to you?" She snapped at him bitterly withdrawing the offered hand and crossed it over her other arm staunchly in front of her, "Because it isn't to me!"

"You're right." Marcus sighed, letting his humor fall aside. He was too tired for it anyway. "It's not funny. It's just how it is, and I'm sorry for that but it can't be changed." he said simply and solemnly and attempted to try to rise unaided from the couch without much success.

The anger in her face faded as fast as it had risen. She swooped in and slipped her arm around his waist to aid him to his feet easily.

He started to lean heavily to one side to lead them towards the staircase. Her arm snapped him back to the other direction.

"I don't think the stairs are a good idea in your condition. My room is right there." she raised her chin towards her door.

"Am I going to be there alone?" His buzzing throbbed almost sensually,

Susan couldn't fight the blush that again warmed her cool skin. "I haven't decided yet."

He turned his head and nuzzled his face in her hair, inhaling deeply. "Well word is I'm a bed hog, so you will need to stake your claim early."

She smiled slightly at the corners of her mouth. "I'll keep that in mind."


	15. Breakfast

His eyes cracked open against the blinding sun streaming in which told him it was well past midday. After his eyes adjusted to the light he realized the ceiling he'd come to recognize as his was not there. This was not his room. He'd had quite a long, much needed, sleep he could tell by the color of the sunlight. Then through the fog, he reached out to his side. The cool sheets next to him told him Susan was gone now, most likely still rising early as usual. Somethings never change.

He fumbled his way into a clean set of clothes. It was now an easier task that he'd rested and padded back down stairs past Davey and Turkel involved in lessons, he ruffled the boy's dark hair as he passed his way to the bathroom. Emerging he heard sounds of occupation in the kitchen, he entered to find Susan at the sink elbow deep in suds.

"There you are." Marcus yawned from the archway. "I wondered where you'd gotten to."

"Well some of us can't sleep that long."

"I didn't even notice you were gone till I woke up. They have an wash unit you know." He said pointing to a silver unit under the counter.

"I know. Just thought I'd pitch in. I like washing dishes." She felt more than saw his questioning look. "It relaxes me, okay? Helps me think."

"Well then," he reached out for the wet bowl she'd just finished, grabbing a towel from the counter. "Far be it from me to interfere then. I'll even help. What time is it?"

Susan looked at the her wrist chrono sitting safe on the counter to her side and contorted her face as she tried to do some math in her head. "Whatever 1600 hours is here, hell if I can tell. You were down for about... thirty two hours."

"Thirty two- Hold on... It's Fel'chai?" He said referring to the current Minbar day.

"Yep. You look like you needed it so we left you be. Oh and before you ask, Delenn cancelled your class today since you were down for the count."

He yawned deeply. "Good. My stint is almost up anyway. She needs to find a replacement. I'm only supposed to be filling in."

"Yeah, Delenn mentioned that."

"She talked me into it. I think she was afraid you weren't coming and wanted to distract me. Though if I let on I actually enjoy it she'll have me tenured and in a damned robe in no time flat. So... shhh." He pressed his fingers to his lips.

"Would that be such a bad thing? You're good at it."

"Well thank you, and actually no I wouldn't mind it, but I just want to do what I want to do for once in my life. Whatever that ends up being. I think I've earned that. Who knows I might come back to it." A wide smile crept across his face. "Unless of course the uniform turns you on, because I can always sign back up."

"Don't get ahead of yourself." She smiled softly and handed him a dripping bowl. Then another. And another.

"Ask you a question?"

"Mmm" she mumbled handing him a wet bowl to dry. "Okay."

He was obviously choosing his words carefully as he absently rubbed at the dish."You've been in the Force over a decade. You can retire anytime you want, no questions asked. Why the asylum? Why not just run out your term?" He put the bowl on the shelf as she handed him another.

These were good questions she found herself struggling for the words. She sighed. "I told you what I am."

"Yes. A telepath, and a pretty lousy one at that. You didn't turn blue. Nothing fell off. Big deal. At least you also wouldn't be throwing your career away or do something you will regret the rest of your days." he tossed the towel over his shoulder.

"Regret?" She pointed a wet soapy spoon at him. "Listen, I've regretted betting a month's salary on the Mars Dodgers in the '55 series, I've regretted a fiancee who left me for my best friend and stole my car, I've regretted not being with my father on his deathbed... I could write books full of my regrets, Marcus. You might even be featured in three or four... but this... this is not one of them," she she shook her head smiling sadly at him. "I knew exactly what I was doing. I'm tired of lying. I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of living in fear that they will find out. Tired of thinking I should have to. I'm tired of all of it."

"You want to know what I think?" he asked leveling his clear green gaze on her again.

Her eyes narrowed at him, but she smiled softly. "No. But I bet I hear it anyway."

"I think..." He smiled leaning in. "That maybe the last three years haven't been as exciting as the ones leading up. That just maybe you liked being an enemy of the people... liked being a rebel."

"Oh come on," She started to protest tossing down the scrubber. "It's not like that at all."

He then began to recite what she had written on her asylum application only the day before in his most theatrical voice. " '_I find I can no longer be silent in the truth of my own being and I freely submit that I, Captain Susan Ivanova, was born with the telepathic gene and have suffered my true identity in silence for fear of my own persecution from the very system and ideals that I have served to protect_.' " Then his gaze settled on her with more than a little bemusement. "That's up there with Thomas Jefferson, Huang Mei, and the Great G'kar. Who would have though you of all people would have grown a taste for being a revolutionary." his green eyes teased her.

"I'm Russian," she said dryly. "We invented revolution."

"You like to think so." he retorted. "But you guys were even better at staying the party line and building Siberian summer homes."

"Not this time. What you don't understand... can't understand...Is what it's like to never feel at home in your own skin, to hate what you are because of the lies you are forced to live just to have any sort of life at all."

"Listen, Susan, I know you're scared of Psicorp. I am not going to pretend I understand that I know what it's like living as you've had to. God knows I've heard all the same stories you have, probably more, so I know what you're afraid of. But, what would have done if you were on your ship when this riot happened?" He asked frankly.

She chewed on her lip a second. She hadn't actually thought that. It was only then she realized the water was still running, she turned off and leaned her behind against the countertop. "I didn't defect did I?" She asked realizing what might be behind his pressing the issue. "Thats what this is about."

His face tightened. "No, no you didn't."

"So what did I do? Can you tell me that?"

She could see him carefully choosing his words. "You lived your life. Kept your nose clean, worked your way up the chain of command and retired quietly without much notice. No one ever knew your dread secret. That's why I was surprised. I had no idea. No one does."

She frowned looking into his emerald eyes. "Does that sound like me? Living the quiet life? No, I think I'd rather go out with a bang and have my conscious intact than stay in and live a quiet lie that eats me alive." She rubbed at the center of her forehead tiredly with wet fingers. "Truth be told I've thought of leaving almost as soon as I got back in. I was dreaming to think I could ever be accepted after what happened. I just... didn't have anyplace else to go."

Marcus' eyes implored her, she could feel his compassion pour over her in waves, she closed her eyes and felt herself concentrating on their comforting rhythm. "This teep row won't last long. It's not going to be the full out war you're fearing, and when the dust clears it won't matter anymore, trust me."

"When I left B5 my heart just wasn't in it anymore, and the very thought of going back, even without what happened yesterday, is not something I want to do if I don't have to. Be it three days or three years." She raised her head up. "I'm tired of hating my life, I've done it far too long. You gave me a second chance, I'm giving myself another. I don't care what the history books will say."

He reached out and carressed her arm. "I found I have a vested interest in history books as of late." He said catching her blue eyes with his. The heat they'd shared on the ship was present again.

"Jefferson and G'kar eh?" She raised an eyebrow skeptically. "That's some company."

"Indeed. Couldn't be better," he said.


End file.
